I wonder if you feel confused and frustrated. My sympathies to you.

Is it that you need to care for your kids, your husband, your dad and yourself all at once?
Is it that you want to figure this out on your own and not solicit the help of your husband, your dad and your family?

I'm sensing that you are projecting your fears onto other people, and perhaps that you feel responsible for the adults around you. It's natural to be responsible for your kids since they are not capable of taking care of themselves, but the adults should be able to hold their own, and you need to take care of your needs and value them just as much as those around you.

I wonder if your are fearing the worse in the situation, and not considering this as opportunities for enriching the life of your husband, your father and your family.

I suggest that you consider not overeaching in feeling responsible for others..specially how they would feel since you will never ever control their emotional reactions and it will lead you to infinite frustrations because you will simply not control their emotions.

There are many possiblities for a solution. I would offer you my attention if you wish to send me a message, we can discuss them in detail.

As the primary solution, I would listen to your needs your feelings, and requests. Then engage with the adults around you about your needs, your feelings and request and solicit communication as to how they feel, what their needs are and their request.. with some back and forth, creative thinking.. I am sure everyone needs can be met and this can even become a life-enriching opportunity..

I hope this helps a tiny bit.. cheers