My 8 year old still sucks in her sleep. Its been 6 years since she stopped nursing. I think it's a thing that some kids just do. I started some of my children on pacifiers when I realized I had become the human pacifier. They usually got over the pacifier in a month or two and I was able to get a little down time. Be careful though with the nursing to sleep as she gets older. My son had really bad cavities in his teeth from nursing at night. They started about 18 months. Since he weaned (a little after 3rd birthday) I have not seen any problems with his teeth. I used floridated tooth paste with his sisters and they never had any trouble with their teeth. With him I used non floridated tooth paste (he had 2 root canals and 4 fillings) and had lots of problems. If I had it to do again I would have used the floridated tooth paste with him b/c the procedures were so traumatic for him. The big thing is making sure they know to spit it out. I taught my son by using salt on his tooth brush, the taste was so strong he spit it out. I just told him we had to use the salt if he insisted on eating the yummy kind and so he stopped swallowing it. I hope this wasn't too off topic (I just hate for another sweet little one to have to go through what my Liam did).(BTW< I have a Phoebe, such a great name!)

could you be out of the house a couple times a week to have your partner put her down for bed?

abigail (at 27 months) nurses to sleep, but two or three nights a week, dad puts her to sleep with nothing more than a few sips of water and bedtimes stories. i get home pretty late, so i shower and crawl right into bed, and she'll either be so zonked that she doesn't know i'm there, or she'll be on me like white on rice, nursing until morning .. i'm fine either way until we figure out a separate bed situation.

Try a book called: The No Cry Sleep Solution. I have the one for babies and she mentions a method for that.