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My partner and I are co-sleeping with our two babies in a queen-sized bed, and mostly, it's actually pretty great. But now that our six-month-old can roll, I don't feel safe leaving him in bed without one of us being there. (And because our other little guy is only seven weeks, we certainly can't leave the two of them in bed without us.) We've put up mesh railings, which help to ensure sleeping safety, but right now, one of us at least is going to bed when the babies do. No adult time together, and not much separately, either. We actually bought a lovely little crib and set it up in our small bedroom, not far from the bed. My baby will play in there happily when I set him down to check it out (for a few minutes while I'm nearby), but even when he's asleep, he'll cry if I put him in it! I just want him there for the time (say 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.) when he's asleep and I'm not. Any ideas? Thanks. Elizabeth
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Sun, October 21, 2007 - 12:47 PMyou could try swaddling and rocking him to sleep. I know this is not something that any one wants to hear on the AP tribe, but sometimes you have to let them cry when you are crib "training". We moved our daughter to her crib at 15 months, and for the first night we had to let her cry. We went in periodically to tell her that it was ok, that mama and papa were near, and that she was safe, but there was no getting around the crying. It sucks, I won't lie, but after that first night, her crib became her space, and she slept very peacefully, and for longer hours than she had in our bed for weeks beforehand. You could also put the newborn to sleep closer to you, on the couch or in a swing or something until you are ready to move to bed.
How did you manage a six month old and a 7 week old? Sorry, just did the math... -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Sun, October 21, 2007 - 2:02 PMYou might have to let them cry when you are crib training, but you don't necessarily have to crib train. What if you put the older one on a mattress on the floor and baby proofed the room? That's what we did with my boy for naps. He sleeps with us at night but in his own bed for naps. Then you can lie down on the bed with teh baby until he falls asleep and you don't have to go through the extra step of putting him down and having him wake. I don't think my son would ever have gone for moving from a cozy bed with the whole family to being behind bars in a crib. I think it's the bars that might make the difference, making the baby feel cut off from the family. That won't be true for every baby but that's how it was for us.
We also had a very nice crib, never even put it together. Used the mattress for a little while but our boy is a roller so we got him a twin mattress to put on the floor.
Or what if you put your whole bed on the floor and put bolsters between the babies while you were not in bed with them? I'm guessing this started because you are worried about the older one damaging the little one? -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Sun, October 21, 2007 - 4:24 PMthat sounds like a difficult situation!
We put our bed on the floor so don't use the crib...
but then again, we don't have two..which sounds like a whole other thing!
Personally (and seriously, NO judgement on anyone else)
I could not stand letting my baby "cry it out" in a crib...
it just would not feel good to me. I'd rather do anything else.
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Sun, October 21, 2007 - 6:33 PMan expansion on the mattress-on-the-floor suggestion (which is what we have): maybe a moses basket on the floor? you could, nurse, swaddle, rock to sleep, then put the baby in the basket during your sexy time. after which, you could just bring baby back into bed, if you want to.
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Sun, October 21, 2007 - 8:25 PMI was doing the math too and feeling totally confused about the ages. Perhaps one is adopted? Guess that isn't really our business.
Right now we have our mattress on the floor with a baby mattress next to it and that has been pretty good for us. We don't worry about Ewan rolling off. Putting the little on in a Moses basket sounds like a good idea.
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Sun, October 21, 2007 - 9:04 PMp.s. which baby are you putting in the crib? the older one or the younger? -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Mon, October 22, 2007 - 3:35 AMHow about a co-sleeper bed? It slides right up to your bed and is attached. -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Mon, October 22, 2007 - 5:08 AMwe loved our co-sleeper for the first few weeks (8-10) when we felt too nervous to let such a little bitty thing sleep with us ... then we *adored* it for the short time when she wasn't rolling over, we could put her in it for sexy time. -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Mon, October 22, 2007 - 8:04 PMOkay, how we have two little ones: we are both women, and we each had one, four months apart. Yes, this meant being pregnant at the same time, and yes, we can swap nursing when required. Also, we used the same donor, but this is not what makes them brothers (a common mistake people like to get excited about). They are, of course, brothers because they have the same parents raising them. But you attachment folks knew that.
Anyway, no I don't want to do crying it out. I'm really just looking for a safe spot for those first hours when I am not ready to go to bed, but the babies are. It sounds like most people put their mattresses on the floor. We had used a co-sleeper (though usually he ended up in bed with me). Right now, he (the older one) enjoys rolling around in the crib (which is in our room). Maybe he'll grow comfortable enough to nap in it. Because right now, I am napping with him, and he often wakes up if I leave or even stop nursing. I'm totally on board with attachment parenting, but I'm not sure it's meant to mean, attached to my nipple for hours at a time!
Thanks for the thoughts--now and any future ones. Including about crying it out, because it's just good to know whatever people come to and how people cope. Sorry I haven't had time to post any kind of profile or photos, but look how much I've revealed about myself and my family just in these posts! -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Mon, October 22, 2007 - 9:08 PM<<and yes, we can swap nursing when required.>>
Color me sooo jealous! Boy would I love it if dad could nurse sometimes! -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Mon, October 22, 2007 - 10:35 PMi put our bed on the floor, began teaching Irie how to get off of the bed, and put a crib mattress on the floor next to the bed and the wall. This way I can lay down on that bed and nurse him to sleep but I know he won't roll off the bed.
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Tue, October 23, 2007 - 3:20 AMOh, don't be so sure. You might learn the true meaning of "jealous". ;-) -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Tue, October 23, 2007 - 12:50 PMWow Elizabeth, what a unique and wonderful parenting experience you get to have!
I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you (we're still working on getting more sleep/together time without our almost two year old), but I just wanted to say it makes me feel happy to hear about all the different ways we humans create our loving families!
heart, fair
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Wed, October 24, 2007 - 5:34 AM"but I'm not sure it's meant to mean, attached to my nipple for hours at a time! "
<giggle>
sure it is! ... for us, anyway.
there were *weeks* where she was attached to my nipple, or cradled my arms for HOURS at a time. it passes, and i think you'll miss it when it's over.
((((((((((hugs))))))))))) -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Wed, October 24, 2007 - 6:16 AMYeah, as for being attached to the nipple, it's that way for us, too. There have been nights when Sam literally slept latched on to the nipple all night long. Not so comfortable for me, but it doesn't last forever. It's mostly at the height of teething and once I realized that, and that it would pass, it got a lot easier. And yeah, as they get older and nurse less, you discover that you actually do miss it. -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Wed, October 24, 2007 - 10:35 PMYou know, it's really helped to be told that the constant need to nurse (all the way through his naps, for example) is normal and a phase. I think I got the idea that if I didn't get him used to something else now, he'd still be nursing all the time at ten years of age. Or something. And I do love nursing him, even with those little teeth sneaking in . . . -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Thu, October 25, 2007 - 7:41 AMhow amazing to be pregnant at the same time! I would just keep the younger baby near you, on the couch, or in a swing, or even make a little bed on the floor if you want some space, and put the older baby down in bed with a pillow or two on the sides. We never had to move our bed to the floor, we just built little barricades. At six months he is just not going to take kindly to a crib, even for starters. -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Thu, October 25, 2007 - 1:31 PMHa! Steph stole my line:"but I'm not sure it's meant to mean, attached to my nipple for hours at a time! "
.....oh yes, sadly and wonderfully, it does!
glad to hear you're taking it all with a grain of salt. My wee one is 16 months and he nurses a lot less than he used to and i find myself alternately relieved and kinda saddened too.
Mmm, wish i could hand off for co-nursing, but with two babies i guess it's not that much of a break! -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Thu, October 25, 2007 - 2:35 PMI remember when my daughter was young, the only way I could reliably get her to sleep was if I'd nurse her to sleep in bed. If I were in your shoes and wanted to move my baby to a crib, I'd probably just nurse to sleep in the bed and then gently move baby to the crib...seems like the path of least resistance.
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Thu, October 25, 2007 - 5:48 PMelizabeth, i reread your posts & i think i understand what you're asking enough to make a couple suggestions.
1. upgrade to a king-size (craigslist) mattress on the floor. nurse your babies to sleep with a pillow between them - tiny one on the outside, onlder one closer to the wall. (wall, pillow, baby, pillow, baby, pillow) that way, the older boy cannot roll onto the little boy.
2. alternately, nurse them to sleep right next to each other & place pillows on either side once you two get up to enjoy your alone time. the older boy will learn to be mindful of the little baby's presence & they may even become a comfort to each other, helping them to sleep better, together.
let us know what you decide!! -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Sat, November 3, 2007 - 7:35 PMThank you to everyone for help and a sense of community! We have a double futon (an extra bed), so we are going to start with putting that on the floor in the (currently unused) boys' room, and start napping in there. After they get comfortable with that, it may be where they (or the older one) starts the night, and then we will bring them into our bed when we go to sleep. And if we love it and it makes sense, we'll go to a king sized bed on the floor!
Thanks, gotta run to the baby . . . -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Tue, November 13, 2007 - 9:27 PMI just got a wonderful book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth? Pantley ( don't have it right here in front of me). The version I got was for toddlers and preschoolers and there is a section about transferring from a family bed to their own bed crib etc. Actually there is just a lot of great information in there about sleep. I wish I had bought it sooner. I know she wrote a book simply titled the No-Cry Sleep Solution that is geared towards babies. I would highly recommend checking it out. Implementing just a few of her suggestions has already created a lot better sleep schedule for us and our son. -
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Re: How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night
Sat, November 17, 2007 - 10:13 PMYes, we checked it out of the library twice and finally just bought it, and will be working on that . . . Thank you!
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