I was a longterm breastfeeding mama (kid really only gave it up when settled into a kindergarten she liked) but to make it work for both of us, I ha had to be quite firm about "that hurts and it;s not okay to hurt me!" nursing is supporsed to feel good to both parties.

sometimes I think those of us who are dedicatged toa ttchment parenting and its equivalents (I sent my daughter to a real 'attachment preschool" t where the teachers had a lot fo teh sae values as we did) need to be clear about our own needs and to communicate them lovingly to our children without playing the martyer. this has tremendous practical ramifications as I see it; as Ina May Gsaskin and some others have said, you want to raise achild that you, and other people, will still LIKE when she is four or five.

I'm not at all above yelping or saying firmly, "ouch!" if a small child does something that doesn't feel good.

I mention the preschool partly because tehre was a head teacher there who I think sometimes DIDN'T set clear enough limits - my kid would come home and do some stuff that I found quite uncomfortable, like whacking my head, and I found out the teacehrs actually encouraged this behavior. and then one day there was this perfectly adorable little boy, AAron, who was lying on his back next to the teacher and kicking her in the side and in the rbeasts. from ehr face it didn;t look like it felt good. I asked,
"Jen,a re your breasts sensitive?" an she said, "as a matter of fact, they are pretty tender right now" so I said, "well, maybe you should ask AAron to let up on kicking them..."

how is a little child going to knnow that other people ahve feelings if we don't tell them?

I respect their right totally, but I don;t think that hurting their mothers, teachers, and friends is an inalienable right at any age.

so for me it's not that mom's body is off limits, it;s that there are some kinds of touch that feel good and we like that and there are some that are owies and we don't...you don;t like owies, do you?

anyway...my two cents and a bit...

Salt, youre doing it right!

My son is 21 months old, and still breastfeeding. Although he has begun to get rough, like wanting to move around a lot when still attached which stretches my nipple, or whack my breast with his hand, etc. I have been teaching him for awhile about ouchies and being gentle. When he hurts me I saw that is an owie for mom, please be gentle. If he is hitting I grab his hand and show him how to pat me gently, and then I pat him gently. He generally does it back gently then he'll try his boundaries and I remind him about how to be gentle. If he's thrashing about with my nipple in his mouth I hold him close to me and ask him to be gentle. If he continues to hurt me I warn him I'll stop feeding him if he isn't gentle, then if he is not I put him down, and try again in a few minutes.