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Both my children have been described as very independent, from age 6 months and up. Now 1 and 3, they both are totally at ease doing their own thing. It's becoming a bit difficult for the 3 year old in ballet class, but she's just going off into her own little world, not being defiant or having a fits. Any ideas on how best to handle this?
On another note, people are constantly telling me how I"m spoiling my children, making them too dependent on me. Of course, I am parenting by instinct, mostly. Attachment parenting just makes sense to me. It's great to have a group online that understands from where I am coming. Around here, if you don't have your baby on a schedule or are nursing beyond 6 months, then you are just indulgent and ruining your children. (scream and run away, right??)
On another note, people are constantly telling me how I"m spoiling my children, making them too dependent on me. Of course, I am parenting by instinct, mostly. Attachment parenting just makes sense to me. It's great to have a group online that understands from where I am coming. Around here, if you don't have your baby on a schedule or are nursing beyond 6 months, then you are just indulgent and ruining your children. (scream and run away, right??)
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Alabama
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Re: Independence and ballet class
Wed, July 16, 2008 - 7:14 AMsmile and nod, smile and nod. I'm sure you're doing a fabulous job!
i'm interested to see people's responses to your first question.
best,
h
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Re: Independence and ballet class
Wed, July 16, 2008 - 8:43 AMI don't know if your ballet class is like this, but my 4 year old's ballet class is very structured. By structured I mean they have to wear certain clothes, line up, take turns, be quiet at certain times, things like that, but sometimes it is stressful on my daughter. She deals with the stress by throwing a fit either before or after the class. She loves ballet though and doesn't want to give it up. Maybe your daughter is dealing with stress in her own way. I just go with it and the only thing I encourage is having fun. As long as it's fun for her then I wouldn't worry about it.
I think that no matter how you parent your children people will always have "suggestions" on how you should do it. It is nice to surround yourself with people who encourage and understand though. This tribe has definitely helped me feel good about parenting choices we've made.
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Re: Independence and ballet class
Wed, July 16, 2008 - 8:58 AMYeah, ballet is pretty structured. When I studied dance at an academy when I was younger no one was even allowed to take a ballet dance until age 6 because it was expected that you were at a certain level of maturity. For younger kids it was just music and movement classes that involved fun songs and big body play. Even at age 6 the structure of ballet is definitely not for everyone. Are there other types of dance or music classes she can participate in? This may be a stupid question, have you talked to her about it? Does she want to be in ballet?
Oh and everyone told me I was making my son too attached and he is now sooooo independent and adventurous now. I have to keep a close eye on him when we go out because if it was up to him he would do every thing on his own. He's convinced he can jump into the ocean on his own. They all are their own people. -
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Re: Independence and ballet class
Mon, July 21, 2008 - 9:09 AMStarting in the fall, they are scraping all the ballet for 3/4's and making them into creative movement classes. Rose does want to be in ballet. Prior to this, she was in mommy and me bellydance/movement class. Prior to that, she was "rehearsing" for bellydance performances in a wrap or sling. That CD is still the best thing to put on when either of them get stressed out. It is happy place music for them.
The class is very structured. She is expected to take instruction, stay with the group, and be kind to everyone in the class. Bless her heart, I also have to put her hair up in a TINY bun and keep her bangs off her face. They all wear the same pink EVERYTHING; shoes, tights, skirt, leotard, barrettes. After reading these posts and talking with her instructor, I've decided to just be supportive of what she does well. If something goes wrong in class, I let the teacher's decision stand, which usually involves not getting a stamp or sitting on the time out carpet square. I actually chose to put her into ballet because it was much more structured than the mommy and me class. Since she has the same heart problems that I have, learning to work together on a sports team is NOT going to be happening. Neither will she be in gymnastics or cheerleading, for the same reason. Non/light impact activities.
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