I have been taking anti-depressants for about 13 years, and a parent for just over 7. I don't know what Parenting is like without, but the person who I was then wouldn't have been able to handle parenting.

Hope all works out for you!

living with an adorable but highly demanding, no-ability-to-delay-gratification 2 year old can be difficult! and you are in a new place away from the people who know you.you raise some interesting and important points, Jade Moon. this may sound like too much of a cliche, but I've found it;s easy to fall into following the "attachment parenting" canon and not be in a position of give ourselves, or ask a partner or our friends or family, for any of the ways WE as mothers (sometimes fathers but not as often) need to be nurtured.

I'm not clear on whether you are partnered or single, and maybe it doesn't matter that much; the isolation of being home with a young child can be almost identical. as for me, I've done it, and experienced the frustration and even depression, both ways.


there are parental stress phone lines that you can call anonymously, and I've used them on occasion. there are also general crisis and depression hotlines. give them a call when life, or parenting, gets you weird. sometimes you will have to wait t speak to someone,, services being what they are , and like with anything else, I found I had more rapport with some people on the phone than with others in the same organization. it's worthwhile even if you get an occasional dud, and the price is right.

now I must admit the Internet has been a great resource for me in terms of breaking out of isolation...necessary though not sufficient.

remember that "stay at home" shouldn't mean or feel like "under house arrest." find the places that are reasonably toddler friendsly and get out there as much as possible.

I respect others who have found that they need some kind of medication but I'm in something of the minority these days for feeling that depression, outbursts, and anxiety are less about "chemical imbalances" that require pharmacological care, and more abut needing to make some changes in our own ability to meet our needs. for me, a lot of those needs were for intelligent social adult interaction and learning. some moms have found real respite in classes in art, yoga, dance, or music, and there are some of these aimed at the parents of yong children so that there is a social milieu where you can support each other. I'm also a firm believer in the healing benefits f getting out into nature, whether you live in a noisy city or the ;burbs or with easy access to more wild parks. is there a parents' hiking group of some kind near you? a jogging stroller is really a human-powered all terrain vehicle and they are fabulous for pushing the kids and socializing with other people who are getting a little crazy inside.

I know that there are DADS groups that do just this...they get the baby backpacks and the AT strollers out and get out and hit the trains together, and the kids have a great time too. I;d love to see more coed parents hiking groups like that. (I dunno, maybe I wold have met someone who was perfect blended family had..oh never mind, it's been a while.)

I also did budget-adventure travel with my child a lot...there are great hostels with family rooms and Green Tortoise trips, and staying at a ho springs retreat that's relatively child-friendly.

when it;s rainy, there are generally inexpensive options somewhere nearby that'll get you and your little one out int a change of scene; art galleries, aquariums, nature and science centers associated with the parks, sometimes kid-friendly music events that are cool fortheir grownups too.
train travel is great with young kids too, as they can get up and move around; sometimes there are even "kiddie cars" where they can color, watc kid movies, and just "be kids." and you get to relax a bit, look ou the window at some spectacular scenery.

if you like to read books, you can generally read while nursing a baby or toddler. put down the parenting literature for a bit. I know that when I was moderating several active groups on natural birth and parenting, etc. some of the women in my group never read anything that wasn't about midwifery, breastfeeding, or parenting. as Rahima Baldwin Dancy (herself the author of several books on birth and parenting) once said, we're unrealistic when we expect a 36 year old graduate student to get excited about doing toddler puzzles and waxing the kitchen floor.

I firmly believe it's possible to lead the high-involvement parenting lifestyle and still honor your brain and body. get a massage or other nurturing bodywork as often as you can. be sure you are eating well; again, we highly hands-on moms tend to pay to much attention to our children's nutrition, and not enough to our own. if you can kick the caffeine and sugar addiction (now I didn't say give them up entirely, I said the habitual reliance...way different) and be sure you're eating nutritious foods that YOU like and not just what your kids will eat, maybe add a vitamin supplement...you will feel way better!

one of the things I learned from working as a children;s mental health counselor as a young woman (I didn't have children of my own then though I wanted them) was that when our anger, hopelessness, and other strong emotions surface, we can tell ourselves :this is precious information about me." sometimes the intensity of our reactions to things masks the truth that they are valid responses to a situation that demands our attention, just like a crying child. almost all pain, physical or emotional, is a ringing telephone that probably has an important message for us.


hope this is helpful to you.


warmly, Judith (now single-parenting a teen!)