Attachment Parenting's topics - tribe.net

anxiety/depression

jade moon — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:31:35 GMT

Anyone suffer from these?
How is it parenting for you?

I am a new mom as of 2 years and am having some issues with outbursts, depression, etc.
I am close to resorting to SSRI meds. Any experience?

Sometimes I wonder if being a full time stay at home, 'attachement' parenting when possible has proven to be too much for me.
Can this be a weight too heavy for some to carry? Especially living in a new city with no family or old friends around....

Any experience ideas appreciated.
Blessings,
Jade Moon

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

Article: Shouting is the new spanking

Foxybrown — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 16:11:51 GMT

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/22/fashion/22yell.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&emc=eta1

posted in Attachment Parenting - 3 replies

anybody skip the prenatal vitamins?

tryagain — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:04:48 GMT

doing research to see if i can be okay with a superb diet. saw an article stating that according to the National Academy of Sciences if you do not have any of a few risk factors (eg smoking) you don't need them. also read that the best source of folic acid is raw fruits and veggies, which i plan to eat plenty of. calcium is generally easy in dark leafy greens and some good salts (my himalayin pink has a ton.) i don't see why taking the time to eat really well shouldn't be enough and am a bit wary of vitamins a supplements. wondering what others have thought and done. obviously we don't want to take unnec risks, but my sense for my body is the best way to go is lots of high vibe organic fruits and veggies across the color spectrum, nuts, coconuts, avos, generally a good raw diet. sorry to sound like such a hippy.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 22 replies

we knew it

Katheryn — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:04:57 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp8tKUQtEsk&feature=related

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Interesting article

Foxybrown — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 15:16:29 GMT

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/health/15mind.html?_r=3

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

what a shocker

salt — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:40:11 GMT

Apparently spanking your one year old causes them to be more aggressive! Who knew?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20090915/hl_hsn/earlyspankingsmakeforaggressivetoddlersstudyshows

WHO SPANKS A ONE YEAR OLD!?!?!? I so don't get it. But then again I don't get people that kill their whole families either, not to neccesarily acquaint the two, but still.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

when did your baby get their own room and bed?

Katheryn — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:06:19 GMT

what age?
how did you know it was time?

tell us your story

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Apartment living with a baby

songflowermari — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 05:09:54 GMT

My husband and I are looking to move out of our neighborhood and into a 2 bd/2bth apartment in a neighboring city. We're wanting to have kids sometime soon but we are worried that we won't have enough space in an apartment. We currently rent a 2/1 house in an area that was once pretty quiet, but recent incidents (punk kids tagging and keying cars, fights, loud music, etc) are forcing us to move. I work in a town just over 30 min away...we've wanted to move there for a while so we figured we'd just rent for a while and get established until either we find the right house or I'm out of grad school.

Our second bedroom is currently being used as an office. We know we want to have the baby sleep in our bedroom regardless of living conditions, but as the baby grows older, we'll have some decisions to make. Any advice?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 7 replies

weaning from co-sleeping

Mel — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 20:49:20 GMT

My son is 21 months old and has been co-sleeping with us since he was born, as well as going to bed by nursing and nursing threw the night. Only now it seems that he wakes up every time we move and that he sleeps longer if I can put him down by himself somewhere. But he does not hardly let me put him down to sleep on his own, or he doesn't stay that way very long. I am getting hardly any sleep and this has been happening for a few weeks. He will sleep for a couple hours and then start waking up frequently in the night and then get up around 2am and not go back to sleep until 6am. I am looking for advice about when any of you started weaning your child from co-sleeping and how you did it. Thank you.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 4 replies

Free Baby Stuff

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 14:44:31 GMT

Beech Nut- Get a free Beech Nut Baby Food Starter Kit.
http://www.freakyfreddies.com

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Offtopic: ISO Issues of Compleat Mother Mag and Book " A New View of a Woman's Body" ...

Petra — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 23:55:11 GMT

...Older, newer, any issues of Compleat Mother Mag.... and this above named Book by the Federation of Femist Women's Health Center....

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

How does your family co-sleep?

HUNNYDUMELONS — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 20:39:34 GMT

PLEASE, if you dont believe in co-sleeping, refrain from posting any negative or judgemental posts to this thread. Co-sleeping is what works for my family, and Im not interested in hearing opinions about why it is bad, Im posting to ask other co-sleeping families for their input.

That said, those of you who do co-sleep, what is your set-up? I tried a Sassy ( mat with bracing pads on each side to keep baby from rolling over) and I bought a snuggle nest. With both, she can be limp and conked out, but as soon as I set her down in them, she wakes up, fully. So we just kind of modified our normal sleeping arrangement to make room for her in the middle, on her back, no bedding or pillows around her, and we just cuddle her down and she sleeps great between us. I am a little nervous about this because for some reason I feel like I need special equipment for my baby to sleep, but this really is the way that all 3 of us are getting good sleep. So do the rest of you just put the baby in the bed with you, or do you have tricks for getting them to sleep in a co-sleeper device, like a snuggle nest? I just want us to be safe and well rested.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 32 replies

sucking and sleeping

Aisha — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 02:48:16 GMT

Does anyone have any suggestions to dis-associate sucking with falling asleep? I want Phoebe to be able to sleep on her own; however, she can't right now without nursing. She's 18 months old and I think this is a skill we need to work on.
Thanks!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 9 replies

groping pinching and other frat party behavior

salt — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 17:21:25 GMT

So my daughter is now 19 months old and still nursing strong. She's gotten very verbal and that is as it should be. BUT she's now shoving her hand down my shirt to establish "You're MY Mama" and has in the last two weeks turned into a serious pincher. I remove the offending little paw gently from out of my bra and give her lots of snuggles and verbal comfort that Yes, those are mama's boos and be nice please, etc. Is this the way to go? I'm not going to say "don't touch" and I'm not looking to wean yet, in fact I think that making them off limits may make her more desperate to hold on tight, but I need a little encouragement. Most of my local mama friends haven't nursed this long and have pretty much gone the old school "mama's body off limits" route, so in a loving way I can state that they're not much help.

Anyone gone through this and have any helpful tricks, or maybe even just funny stories?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 3 replies

Transitioning from co-sleeping

midnight03 — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:25:05 GMT

I am a single mama and I have been co-sleeping with my son with my son since he was born. He just turned 8 and still wanting to sleep in my bed. It is really time for him to sleep in his own bed but he is finding it very hard to go to sleep by himself since it has become such a habit. It is midnight now and he still has not gotten to sleep. How does one transition a child to sleep on their own? He is constantly coming into my room complaining about something or wanting to come into my bed. We've been trying to transtion for a week but he always ends up in my bed by morning.
How long have you slept with your child? Is age 8 to long to have slept with your child? Is attatchment parenting letting your child choose when it is time to transition or is it right of me to finially take a stand on it?
Any help would be appritiated.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 24 replies

uh oh, the In-Laws are baby trainers

HUNNYDUMELONS — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 05:40:21 GMT

The other day my father in law told my husband that he needs to "train that baby before the baby trains you" and my mother in law told me that I should let my baby sleep in bouncy seats and car seats so that I can train her not to want to be held all the time. My daughter isnt quite 3 weeks old, and my in-laws think I need to "train" her to learn to be alone, etc, and also think I should give her a pacifier, which Im not about to do.

Here is the conundrum, when a stranger in the store tells me I need to train my baby, or tells me Im spoiling my child by holding her and feeding on demand, I can smile, nod, ignore, and laugh later. But when my in laws, who live down the street and we see all the time do it, its another story. How does one deal with the close family memeber, while still maintaining a good relationship, who is a baby trainer?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 6 replies

Petition to request Merck separate the MMR vaccine again (x-post)

Gab — Thu, 28 May 2009 16:59:56 GMT

I am sending this to most of the people in my e-mail address book because I feel very strongly about this. You'll note that I do not share what schedule I've choose for Lynda because it isn't about that... it is about having the ability to choose what any parent feels is best for their child and thier family.

While this is a very contriversial topic, I very strongly feel that parents should have the ability and the right to choose how (and if) they want vaccinate their children. By taking away the "separated MMR" parents only have the choice to either take all 3 in one shot or not at all. I personally know of 100's of mothers who want to give these vaccines to their babies seperated out, but I also know that there are actually 100's of 1000's of parents that would prefer to seperate these vaccines for their babies. I also know that many of these parents are delaying the vaccine until 2 or 3 years old because the are concerned about giving it to thier baby when they are still so young at 12 months and the possible reactions/side effects.

Please join me and others and help get this petition to the 100,000 signatures they are looking for. Please also forward it on to others you know and ask for their help. It would be really great if this petiton could FAR FAR exceed the 100,000 signatures goal. Thank you all so much!!!

Gabriella Waterman has just read and signed the petition: Moms for Separated MMR Vaccines
You can view this petition at:

www.thepetitionsite.com/tell-a...4310358

posted in Attachment Parenting - 3 replies

Casting Divorcees...Compensation 20K!!!

Renee — Fri, 15 May 2009 00:48:35 GMT

Hello,
I actually went to your group because I am a Casting Producer
for a new TV show, and we are looking for divorced couples.
The show I am casting is about people coming through the other
side of divorce, and how they found happiness again. It is
meant to help other people that may be going through something
similar, and it is meant to be a story of redemption. It is
NOT exploitative.

PARTICIPANTS WILL RECEIVE HELP TO CREATE
THEIR NEW LIVES, AS WELL AS 20K!!!

Attached, please find a flyer for the show. I'd greatly
appreciate if you could forward this on to anyone you see fit.

Thank you, and have a lovely day!

Renee- Casting Producer
310-401-5421

________________________________________________________________
NOW CASTING!

The Producers of VH1’s “Behind the Music” brings you,
THE DIVORCE PROJECT!

Are you a divorced man or woman OR are you currently going
through a divorce?

We want to hear your story!

In America, 49 % percent of marriages end in divorce and tens
of millions of Americans have been though this often heart-
wrenching process…But there has never been a television series
that accurately depicts the experience…until Now!

A Major Cable Network is developing a series that will show
that there is definitely life AFTER divorce! We will show the
love, the loss and the redemption of picking up the pieces and
moving on…

We are looking for outgoing, charismatic couples in their mid
20’s to mid 40’s that are currently divorced, or couples who are
in the process of getting a divorce and are willing to tell
their story honestly and compellingly.

Selected couples will be compensated $20k !

CALL US NOW 310-401-5421 or email your name, number, photo and
story to
thedivorceproject@gmail.com
________________________________________________________________

----------------------------------------------------------------

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

disabilities

laurelai — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 02:09:45 GMT

i have lyme disease in late stages, and recently symptoms worsened. finding it hard to do things like pick up my four and a half month old bebe, breastfeed, and give him the attention his energized and evergrowing self needs. wondering if anyone here is coping with an illness or disability...

how does this affect parenting for you?
how do you cope?
how have you and your child found balance (or not)?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 5 replies

probiotics

laurelai — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:58:00 GMT

i'm starting antibioltic treatment and will be amping up the probiotics to thwart yeast infection, etc. as i'm still nursing. anyone have good quality brands of probiotics to recommend? anybody did the same thing (antibiotic course) while nursing?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 4 replies

bjorn baby carrier

laurelai — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 07:37:15 GMT

just bought the new synergy model, and then two days after heard bjorn carriers put too much stress on baby's crotch, affecting spine and posing lifetime health problems. unfortunately i tossed out receipt! i tried this out with bebe facing me, tummy to tummy. seemed weight was distributed more on his bottom, not localized just to crotch area. still i'm apprehensive about using bjorn.

anyone carried your baby in bjorn? i'm curious to hear your thoughts / experience. thanks!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 17 replies

Potty Time

b_flat — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:53:44 GMT

My daughter is going to be three in April. I'm curious when other parents are potty training. We've been trying with our daughter, but she just sits there, and nothing happens. What has worked for you?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 33 replies

To make a more beautiful world...

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:17:25 GMT

A newborn looks into it's mothers eyes while nursing. Deeply, open, lovingly and completely trusting. It's Heart is in the most Vulnerable state and the most Open then it will ever be again.

The phone rings. The mother doesn't want to take the call because she is enjoying nursing and loving her baby. She takes it because its the insurance company, she has been waiting for this return call. She feels stress as she discusses the situation about what she thought was covered they now say is not covered. She tenses up as images flash through her mind of how this will change there lives; she doesn't want to go back to work, she wants to be with the baby. What does the baby feel as it's nursing now? The baby develops it's first shell. Not too thick, but it's one of many. Next time the phone rings the baby is aware, and tenses up just a little.

Day after day, the shells keep coming in. Some big, some little some thick some paper thin.

One day while the mother is happily folding laundry the baby slips off the sofa, suddenly the baby's is aware its physical body could be hurt, it's startled and cries out, though it is not hurt. The mother rushes to the baby, picks the baby up, she knows it is ok, she soothes it as she looks deeply into it's eyes with love and acceptance for it's cry, and smiles at the baby, the baby feels safe to express it's emotion and it was not hurt. It does not develop a shell.

With each shell a little resistance. Sometimes the shells are broken back down. The baby hears the phone ring. It tenses. The baby hears the mother laugh and get excited. The mother has several minutes on the phone in this way laughing and happy. When she gets off the phone she comes and picks up the baby, and dances around with it laughing. The baby releases the shell from before! But now it listens and is aware when the phone rings.

The heart thing... can something new be added or do we have to treck the old paths and unbury the vines, cutting them away. Can we plant flowers up the vines?

I like having flowers growing up my vines. The vines can be cut away, but the roots remain, able again to be activated. I
It's rare, the feeling to be completely safe to as to be completely vulnerable ...so that real LOVE can be shared.
There is so little love left in the world. Do we have to hold it back.

The people of this planet are covered with shells. When they get thick enough they cause a war. Do we have to trace back and drag up the reasons the war started? and before that, and before that and before that?

Do we need to ring the phone again and again for the adult until she accepts the feeling begun as a newborn. I feel we can start where we are and find better feelings from there. If we can find the feeling. What if it has become numb...

Unconditional love is becoming so rare. When I say I love and accept someone it's because I can't NOT love them because there is understanding. I don't need to trace back all of the traumas to understand why they act the way they do.

Yes it seems sick sometimes, thats another way of looking at it, the whole world does seem sick.

Yesterday I journeyed through some of my traumas, looking to find the cause for the heart line that goes numb when I sleep. So I imagined being as vulnerable as the baby.

And then how I would feel, and then to deal with that horrible shock I imagined --what would the perfect most loving human response be instead. In one memory I saw myself running up the road escaping with my cat (which was my first impulse) my face streaming with tears right. A nice grandpa man see me crying and pulls over and looks me in the eyes lovingly as I tell him in sobs, my siblings are going to kill it. He hugs me and understands and tells me everything is going to be ok and comes to the house with me. Now I'm scared not for the cat but for me. If he shames them and then I'll be the in line for dead. So I imagine that he takes each child alone and listens to their reasons for wanting to kill my cat, and accepts them unconditionally and comforts them (some hate the cat, some love the chickens it killed, some are hung up on rights and wrongs) he unconditionally listens with total love and acceptance to each child as they feel safe to share and cry themselves as he tells each one it will be ok. The oldest sister says she thinks her mysteriously missing cat was killed by Dad. My Dads childhood pet maggpie was killed by a neighbors cat...he's hated cats ever since.

I guess it makes it easier, when we can trace it, and see the vines, and cut them back ecspecially when we are numb. But if we can, start where we are it's beautiful.

Imagine every child being allowed to express all and every feeling. When they cry, when they complain, when they hurt, when they are scared, when they are angry, vengeful, in rage..., hopeless. Imagine adults gazing softly into their eyes like the newborn, comforting and accepting them in all of their feelings unconditionally.

IT CAN BE A MORE BEAUTIFUL WORLD

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Different ways to wear the Moby wrap

HUNNYDUMELONS — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 22:22:52 GMT

I bought a used one, and it came with no instructions. The website shows how to do the basic front X formation, but Id like to have more options.

Anyone know of a link or have instructions they could scan and post?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 6 replies

I need mommies to take survey for my final research project!

jezebelsmommy — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 21:52:16 GMT

I'm studying the effects of childhood sexual abuse on length of pregnancy, labor and breastfeeding. If you have a moment, you you mind completing a brief survey for me? You don't have to have a history of abuse to participate. Thanks!

http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?key=pd1oa_5iJj89qiYdDLawjDw&hl=en

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

Vote for Free WaterCranioSacral Therapy for Children with Autism

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 08:43:41 GMT

Please vote for us to win a $10,000 grant to fund Free WaterCranioSacral Therapy for Children with Autism - VOTE at http://ideablob.com/ideas/4289-Free-Water-Cranio-Sacral-Clinic today!

We hope to win this grant to fund a monthly free clinic for children with autism to receive CranioSacral Therapy, a gentle light-touch bodywork modality that is helpful at improving the comfort of the lives of autistic children. We hope to rent our local pool, a warm, 92-degree, salt water pool for this therapy monthly for two years for the kids and their families, as well as funding more individual sessions, and continued professional development and training to continue this program into the future.

Thanks for your support!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

For Los Angeles mommies

Gab — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 04:21:26 GMT

I hope it is ok to put this here... if not please let me know. Also, if any of you LA mommy's have other places you can post this (Like Peachhead which I'm no longer a part of) to help out a fellow mommy that would be really great. I already posted it on Boobie Brigade yesterday. Thank you. -- Gab

Hi ladies,

I wanted to tell you all about this place called Crative Seeds. They
are located on Pico near Hauser (between La Brea and Fairfax). Ashley, the
woman who own's and run's Creative Seeds, though not a Triber is a
mommy of a 4 year old, and teachs most of the work out classes and
some of the classes for babies and kids. She also has other teachers
who come in and teach Karate, Drumming, Ballet, and Yoga and more, as
well as Julie Ingrim who will be teaching a Tuesday afternoon class.
The rates for all of the classes are very resonable.

Here are the links to her website (main page and class schedule)
http://www.growcreativeseeds.com/
http://www.growcreativeseeds.com/schedule.php

*** this next week all classes on the schedule are free and the full
winter session begins January 19. ***

Also, if there is a class you are interested in forming and you can
get minimum 4 people together for the class she will try to work with
you and see if she can make the class happen in an open time slot.

I told Ashley I would post here on Tribe and since word of
mouth is by far the strongest form of advertising, if you contact
her or take one of the classes please let her know you heard about
Creative Seeds here. I don't really get anything out of this, I just
really connected with Ashley and want to help support a fellow mommy.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

New

~*ELODIE*~ — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 18:11:34 GMT

Hi, I'm new to this group and to tribe. Just want to connect with other moms who think like I do.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 2 replies

ok, now fluoride...

maria pureza — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 06:52:37 GMT

well we've discussed vaccination now hows about we talk about fluoride? there was some discussion over on ppm and mamas were talking about giving their kids fluoride (or not, and feeling guilty about it). i was honestly shocked! i've avoided fluoride at all costs- not in toothpaste, not at the dentist, and have made it a point to live where we have well or spring water. although i'd love for my kids not to rebel, i'd rather not give them rat poison to make them complacent, and i'm pretty sure their pineal glands are where it's at. but maybe i'm wrong? do you guys do fluoride in any form?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 18 replies

Bed Sharing Question

Katie — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:09:29 GMT

Hello! Our son is 16 months, and we all share the bed. We are definitely not ready to move our son into his own bed. However, he has started to nap less and want to go to bed earlier.

The problem is that he wants us to be in bed in order for him to fall asleep, but we don't want to be in bed at 8. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to go to sleep on his own? This would also make nap time easier, as I might not have to lay down with him for so long.

So far, I have been rocking him to sleep in the living room and then laying him in bed. I think this may be the best way, but it would still be nice for him to be able to fall asleep on his own sometimes!

Thanks for any advice!!
Katie

posted in Attachment Parenting - 18 replies

native american cradle board

HUNNYDUMELONS — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 02:30:52 GMT

In all my years of working with kids, the fastest, easiest way to get a baby to sleep and to stay asleep was to use a cradle board. We plan on co sleeping at night, but when the baby needs to sleep without me, I would really like to have a cradle board. The trouble isall the ones I have seen on the internet are not really practical for a baby, theyre heavily adorned, expensive, and made more for art collectors than parents.

Does anyone know where a more simple one can be bought or made?

Here is a link so you can see what Im talking about http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.sagebrushgallery.com/indian-baskets-for-sale/Monocradles.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.sagebrushgallery.com/indian-baskets-for-sale/indian-baskets-for-sale-mono-cradle-board-basket.html&usg=__l7AzE9Gk7yai7icUPCXPFEfsidE=&h=480&w=640&sz=89&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=J2gAgxlJu2OEwM:&tbnh=103&tbnw=137&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcradle%2Bboards%2Bfor%2Bsale%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1G1GGLQ_ENUS304%26sa%3DN
but those are made from pine needles, not so practical.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 13 replies

please school me on the whole immunization controversy

HUNNYDUMELONS — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 02:41:28 GMT

the baby comes in 5 months, and I need to make up my mind about shots. I just plain dont know enough about it to decide either way.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 15 replies

Perfect Stocking Stuffer

Shelly — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 23:30:09 GMT

If you're looking for some kid's music that they will enjoy and won't drive you totally nuts:

http://debanddoc.net/Deb_%26_Doc/Deb_%26_Doc_Home.html

There is a mix of different styles that are professionally done. The songs are respectful to animals and often give them human qualities.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

SELL YOUR BABY STUFF

Melissa — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 23:01:04 GMT

http://tribes.tribe.net/sellyourbabystuff

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

X post from PPM and babywearing tribe.

SiMoNe — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 19:09:57 GMT

http://www.motrin.com/

posted in Attachment Parenting - 5 replies

attachment parenting is killing me

tryagain — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 12:18:40 GMT

it's becoming really obvious to me that attachment parenting is something that is incredibly hard to do outside the context of a "village."

i guess i hadn't really thought about it -- that ap was taking up ideas not common in the west, isolated as parents often are.

i wore him and wore him. and at the end of the day i was wiped out and he woke up from his nice long sling slumber and was ready to party.

i slept in the same bed -- or should i say didn't. and i'm about ready to fall on my face at the end of another night of 2.3 hours of sleep.

i feed on demand and my nipples are about to fall off.

wtf?!

as a single mom i want to give him so so so much love. but as a single mom i also have too all the more begin to take my own health very seriously. and i'm crashing.

i have sent up requests for help -- and community is rallying. but i'm just wiped.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 21 replies

circumcision and religion

Saratonin — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 05:42:29 GMT

Why is circumcision considered OK by many people if it is religious. For example someone is against circumcision if it is non-religious, but if it is religious it doesn't bother them the same way. Either way it deeply bothers me. Would I be considered ignorant for not respecting someone religion when I don't think it's a good enough reason to mutilate a baby's penis? Should that trauma be worth it because the parents have certain "beliefs"? I'm just asking for opinions here.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 48 replies

X post: Interesting articles

Foxybrown — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 22:26:14 GMT

I found a lot of the articles on this site to be very informative and thought provoking. http://www.youandyourchildshealth.org/articles.html
I didn't necessarily agree with all the information but a lot of it was spot on IMO and I really liked reading a lot of them.
I found this one particularly interesting: http://www.youandyourchildshealth.org/articles/healing%20our%20children.html

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Here is something we can do to make ourselves heard!

Leslee — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:53:22 GMT

Hi,
Here is something we can do to make ourselves heard!

Something we can do:
A letter from Jane Brody, NY Times:

Dear Friends: Below is a missive of great import to the future of our
country. I do hope you'll read it thru to the end and follow thru.
Ourselves, our children and our grandchildren will pay the price if this
election should turn out wrong.
Thanks, Jane Brody Engquist

On behalf of my brilliant colleagues Lyra Kilston and Quinn
Latimer, editors at the esteemed art magazine Modern Painters, I pass on the
following--

Friends, compatriots, fellow-lamenters,

We are writing to you because of the fury and dread we have felt since the
announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the
Republican Party. We believe that this terrible decision has surpassed mere
partisanship, and that it is a dangerous farceon the part of a pandering and
rudderless Presidential candidatethat has a real possibility of becoming
fact.

Perhaps like us, as American women, you share the fear of what Ms. Palin
and her professed beliefs and proven record could lead to for ourselves and
for our present or future daughters. To date, she is against sex education,
birth control, the pro-choice platform, environmental protection,
alternative energy development, freedom of speech (as mayor she wanted to
ban books and attempted to fire the librarian who stood against her), gun
control, the separation of church and state, and polar bears. To say nothing
of her complete lack of real preparation to become the second-most-powerful
person on the planet.

We want to clarify that we are not against Sarah Palin as a woman, a
mother, or, for that matter, a parent of a pregnant teenager, but solely as
a rash, incompetent, and all together devastating choice for Vice President.
Ms. Palin's political views are in every way a slap in the face to the
accomplishments that our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers so
fiercely fought for, and that we've so demonstrably benefited from.

First and foremost, Ms. Palin does not represent us. She does not
demonstrate or uphold our interests as American women. It is presumed that
the inclusion of a woman on the Republican ticket could win over women
voters. We want to disagree, publicly.

Therefore, we invite you to reply here womensaynopalin@gmail.com
with a short, succinct message about why you, as a woman living in this
country, do not support this candidate as second-in-command for our nation.

Please include your name (last initial is fine), age, and place of
residence.

We will post your responses on a blog called "Women Against Sarah
Palin," which we intend to publicize as widely as possible. Please send us your
reply at your earliest conveniencethe greater the volume of responses we
receive, the stronger our message will be.

Thank you for your time and action.
VIVA!

Sincerely,

Quinn Latimer and Lyra Kilston
New York, NY
womensaynopalin@gmail.com

**PLEASE FORWARD WIDELY! If you send this to 20 women in the next hour,
you could be blessed with a country that takes your concerns seriously.
Stranger things have happened.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 3 replies

lil boy with penis pus

mamatoto — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 15:36:36 GMT

my four yr old has a bit of pus coming from his "lingam" (penis). ANyone have experience with penis infections/ uti's in boys? I really have not been on top of cleaning under his foreskin but i realize now i must. Also it is real smelly.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 35 replies

Online Co-Creative Birthing Class

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:46:18 GMT

The Co-Creative Birthing Circle: Online Multi-media Natural Childbirth Education for Parents
at the Maia Institute of Co-Creative Healing
www.maiainstitute.com

Comprehensive conscious birthing preparation with seven class modules, extensive articles, 40+ videos, 150+ links and resources, Birth Stories, the Mamatoto Cookbook, Birth Humor, and the Birth Circle Discussion Forum!

The Co-Creative Birthing Circle Facilitator Class is coming soon for birth professionals and advocates!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Online course- pass it on! Intactivists and med students!

fixit — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:02:00 GMT

Know any nurses, doctors- or students? This could be a great way to fulfill a con-ed requirement:

The Intact Boy

Medicalized (non-religious) circumcision, an invention of English-speaking physicians, is in steep decline everywhere in the world — except for the United States. Join Marilyn Milos, RN; John Geisheker, Esq.,; Ronald Goldman, Ph.D.; Gillian Longley, RN, BSN; and Miriam Pollack in a critical examination of the practice of infant male circumcision in North America.
The Foreskin

The United States has been a predominantly circumcising culture since the mid 20th century, a time when childbirth and infancy began to be heavily medicalized through childbirth interventions and the aggressive marketing of infant formulas. Along with the loss of knowledge of normal childbirth and breastfeeding, Americans have also lost their knowledge of the normal intact (non-circumcised) penis.

This lack of knowledge of the foreskin on the part of North American parents and health professionals underlies, in part, the perpetuation of the practice of circumcision, and has frequently led to false or harmful advice on the care of intact boys. Part I of this series will demystify the foreskin, while at the same time laying a foundation for understanding the harmful impact of its loss to circumcision.

Warning: These workshops are liberally illustrated with photographs and diagrams of adult and infant penises, as well as graphic images of the circumcision procedure. These images are intended for educational purposes only, but some viewers may find them offensive or disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.

Part Two:
The Psychology of Circumcision

Circumcision may be the missing piece of the American male psychological puzzle. Some men have discovered a connection between their circumcision and adult feelings related to sexuality, women, self-esteem, and other issues. Part II will focus on the short and long-term effects of circumcision and psychological impacts on individuals and society. Participants will learn that circumcision not only impacts a man’s sexuality and male/female relationships, but also interferes with breastfeeding and maternal/infant bonding. These lectures will be of particular interest to those who work with men’s issues, women who want to understand men better, and healthcare professionals who are concerned about preserving the motherbaby relationship.

Part Three:
Cultural and Economic Underpinnings

Part III will explore the cultural and economic underpinnings of the practice of circumcision. What are the origins of this cultural practice? Why do non-observant Jews engage in this practice? Why does infant male circumcision persist in North America, while all other English-speaking nations have either fully abandoned or sharply curtailed it? What bioethical issues does the practice of circumcision raise? What economic issues sustain this practice, especially in the USA? This part will end with a discussion of growing objections to circumcision within the Jewish population in the United States and in Israel.

Part Four:
Effecting Change
(A Supplemental Program for Intactivists)

Conscious Activism (three, 90-minute workshops)
Presenter: James S. Turner, Esq.

Over the years, many activist templates have been developed in successful campaigns to influence social policy and public opinion. One of the most successful templates has been developed and utilized by James S. Turner, Esq. , one of the original Nader’s Raiders and author of The Chemical Feast: The Nader Report on Food Protection at the Food and Drug Administration (1970) , an example of the template, and Making Your Own Baby Food (1977), an integrated muckraking and activist self-help book for parents that draws on the template. The many successes that Jim has been involved in include passage of the Organic Food Protection Act of 1990, a four-year campaign on the dangers of artificial sweeteners (Nutrasweet, Saccharin, Aspartame, and Splenda), and the campaign to block Swine Flu vaccination (1976). He also led the legal and scientific team that persuaded the FDA to reclassify acupuncture needles as safe and effective for legal U.S. importation and distribution (1996).

Through these workshops, you will recognize that there are habitual structures in society which limit our ability to be effective, and there are additional structures - often, if not usually overlooked -which will enhance and empower effectiveness if we are congruent with their bedrock reality. Explore the basis of and learn to use this activist template, the backbone of successful campaigns that resulted in intentional, positive social change.
http://consciouswoman.org/2007/08/14/the-intact-newborn/

When I started this post, I thought the whole thing was free, but it's not.
There is a free INTRODUCTION to the programming.
See:
http://consciouswoman.org/2008/03/20/introduction-to-conscious-woman/

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

moses baskets

tryagain — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 16:20:21 GMT

i apologize if this has been asked before -- i didn't find it.

i'm sleeping on two stacked futons (one thick one very thin) over a box spring. so my bed is several inches lower than a standard bed. i have been thinking a moses basket placed beside the bed might be a good arrangement for in case i don't wind up always being able to sleep well with my baby, because i could always peer over and be right near him.

has anybody had much luck with moses baskets?

money and space are both very short here so if i can benefit from somebody else's experience before i make a mistake i'd be glad.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 3 replies

Eyebright herb...

Judith — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:34:39 GMT

this came up in another thread when someone was talking about irritated foreskins in little boys.

and i said that since I don;t have any sons, I don;t have fdirect expeience but maybe eyebright herb would help because it;s so wonderful for irritated eyes and conjunctivitis...that old bane of preschool and school-aged kids, pinkeye..

here's the deal...

most conjunctivitis, whether it;s bacterial or not is self-limiting and will be gone in 2 weeks anyway, sort of like a stubborn cold...but kids rub their eyes and then touch stuff so much that it;s considered an 'exclusion" condition at schools and camps.

plus it's kind of a drag, crusty eyes especially in the morning with your eyelashes sticking together... Ig et it occasionally, usually when there are two factors converging such as having a slight cold and then getting too much campfire smoke or polluted air in my already irritated eyes...

someone asked about this on another thread. eyebright infusion is GREAT for heealing conjunctivitis.

eyebright is a Euphrasia...can;t rremember the species name but that's the genus, and maybe there is more than one species that works medicinally; I need to look it up.
most herb stores and natural foods stores sell it in powdered form, either in bulk or in capsules. because it;s considered an 'invasive" weed, you can;'t buy the un-powdered herb in california; I'm not sure about other places. (the less ground-up any herb is, the better in terms of freshness and potency, but you do what you can...) ou can also buy a tincture in alcohol. as with most herbs, if you can get certified organic or ethically wildcrafted, so jmuch the better; it;s going on a sensitive area of your body with lots of blood vessels, after all. let the hot water steep the herb for a good 15 to 20 minutes.

I brew a strong infusion, a good tablespoon of dried eyebright herb to a cup of water. I;d probably make a whole quart/liter at a time since I'm going to be using it as a compress. in case you aren;t familiar with making infusions...bring the water to a boil separately, then pour it over the herb and cover it. you can drink the tea if you like...it's also good for respiratory allergies. dip a clean soft cotton cloth in the warm tea and lie down with the compress on your eyes (you might want a little plastic sheeting of some kind under your head to keep your pillow or bed from getting too soggy) when it;s cool, change the compress - yoou can handwash and rinse, and then boil it in fresh water to get rid of any infectious stuff in there.

alternatively, you can also make a sort of pouch or large 'tea bag" or two (enough to cover at least one eye) and use the reusable tea bags as our compresses. they even sell some pre-made eyebright tea bags for this purpose, but it;s kind of an expensive way 9eyebright is not an expensive herb...an ounce in dried bulk herb will generally cost a few dollars.)

I recommended this for my friend's daughter a few years ago and they called me up to say the pinkeye was completely gone in two or three days...olike I say, it can take a week or two otherwise.

if I only had a tincture to use, I;d probably add 20 drops per cup of boiling water...again, don;t cook it on the stove, jsut let it sit, not so important to cver it since the alcohol has already extracted the active principles here...but if the alcohol doesn;t evaporate off, it might irritate some kids'
eyes a bit...see what works.

chamomile tea bags are also very soothing for pinkeye and other irritated eye problems, and it;s pretty easy to find certified organic chamomile tea in bags these days.

ginger tea might also help, but keep it mild. since ginger is a root/rhizome, you can and probably sould simemr slices of fresh ginger directly in our fresh water. I haven;t tried adding flax seeds personally, but since they are ratehr gelatinous and soothihng to mucosa, they too might be of help.

good luck!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

Hitting

Saratonin — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 09:22:29 GMT

My son is 15 months old and loves to hit! I say please be gentle Kaden, and no hitting please. If he hits me with somthing I take it away and don't give it back till he nods his head yes when I ask will you be gentle? Sometimes I remove him from where he is like if we are on the bed and he hits I'll put him on the floor and ask him to be gentle. He still hits all the time. I'm pretty stern, but he still wont take me seriously, or he'll just cry, then repeat. Any suggestions?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 20 replies

Code Adam (X-Post)

Melissa — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:39:03 GMT

Forwarded from a Sam's Club employee . . .

Wanted to share something that happened today while shopping at
Sam's Club. A mother was leaning over looking for meat and turned around
to find her 4 yr. old daughter was missing. I was standing there right
beside her, and she was calling her daughter with no luck.

I asked a man who worked at Sam's to announce it over the loud
speaker for Katie. He did, and let me say he immediately walked right past
me when I asked and went to a pole where there was a phone. He made an
announcement for all the doors and gates to be locked, a code something.

So they locked all the doors at once. This took all of 3
minutes
after I asked the guy to do this. They found the little girl 5 minutes
later in a bathroom stall. Her head was half shaved, and she was dressed
in her underwear with a bag of clothes, a razor, and wig sitting on the
floor beside her to make her look
different.

Whoever this person was, took the little girl, brought her into
the bathroom, shaved half her head, and undressed her in a matter of less
than 10 minutes. This makes me shake to no end. Please keep a close eye
on your kids when in big places where it's easy for you to get separated.

It only took a few minutes to do all of that-another 5
minutes and
she would have been out the door. I am still in shock that some sick
person could do this, let alone in a matter of minutes. The days are over
when our little ones could run rampant all over the place and nothing
would happen to them.

The little girl is fine. Thank God for fast workers who didn't
take any chances.

BE SURE TO FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE, SO THEY KNOW JUST HOW
SICK PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE!!! (This happened at the Sam's
Wholesale Club in Omaha, Nebraska.)

This message has been added to the story above:

I received this e-mail from one of my friends today. Let me
first
tell you that I work at the Sam's club in Lincoln, NE. The code that was
spoken of is called a 'Code Adam'. It is named after John Walsh's (host
of Americas Most Wanted) son Adam who was kidnapped and murdered many
years ago. It is used in all Sam's Clubs, Wal-marts, and Wal-mart super
centers to locate lost children.

This is how it works. If by some means you have been separated
with your child tell the nearest employee! The employee will page a 'Code
Adam' (missing child in the store) over the intercom system followed by a
description of the child (height, weight, hair color, age, name etc).

When that page goes out all the exits are immediately guarded,
and/or locked in some cases, also every employee will stop whatever they
are doing no matter what it is and help look for the missing child. This
will continue until the child is found.

If the child is not found within a reasonable time then the
police
are notified and the store will conduct an isle by isle search. So if ever
you are separated from your child now you know what to do.

Missing children pictures hang by the exits of all Wal-mart and
Sam's Club stores, please take a few minutes to look these over as you
leave, you just might have seen one of the children on them and you might
be the one to give their parents hope and give the police a new lead in
finding them.

Thank you.

Sincerely, Rudy Magee Sam's Club #6413

Even if you do not have little kids, pass this one on to
everyone
you can think of. You never know who you might save by sending this email!

Please take the time and forward this to any friend who has
children & grandchildren!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 10 replies

baby wearing!!!

evangeline loves the emo bebe — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:30:28 GMT

do u wear your baby around the house to do chores? it seems if sabine wakes up from a nap without me around she gets very upset and can get inconsolable when she wakes up.i've been thinking about wearing her. does this affect their sleep? do u end up with a bad back? i have a bjorn and a ring sling.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 16 replies

Co-Sleeping/Crib Sidecar Hack!

SiMoNe — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:11:22 GMT

I wanted to share this - It's a total how to on making your crib a co-sleeper/sidecar. We've done something similar, but were going to add a few of modifications from this site.

http://www.freewebs.com/sidecarcrib/index.htm

posted in Attachment Parenting - 8 replies

Independence and ballet class

Batya — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:00:09 GMT

Both my children have been described as very independent, from age 6 months and up. Now 1 and 3, they both are totally at ease doing their own thing. It's becoming a bit difficult for the 3 year old in ballet class, but she's just going off into her own little world, not being defiant or having a fits. Any ideas on how best to handle this?

On another note, people are constantly telling me how I"m spoiling my children, making them too dependent on me. Of course, I am parenting by instinct, mostly. Attachment parenting just makes sense to me. It's great to have a group online that understands from where I am coming. Around here, if you don't have your baby on a schedule or are nursing beyond 6 months, then you are just indulgent and ruining your children. (scream and run away, right??)

posted in Attachment Parenting - 4 replies

first child/second child differences

Alisa — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 17:15:50 GMT

I was just wondering if anyone has had the experience where AP worked perfectly for you and your first child, but the second child seems to have different needs and it doesn't work as well. I believe strongly that parents need to adapt to the needs of their babies and I have tried to avoid strategies I felt were not natural, but I am finding that my second baby is changing my views on what is natural (at least for her). I am curious if anyone else has had such dramatically different children.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 3 replies

rail guards for co-sleeping

Lyla — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 16:26:14 GMT

what have you used? recomendations? my little one is 10 weeks this sunday and i don't want him falling out of the bed as he becomes more active..

i was looking at this one

http://www.amazon.com/Regalo-Hide%252dAway-Extra%252dLong-Bed-Rail/dp/B000H1IYXW/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_k2a_3_txt?pf_rd_p=304485601&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-2&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0000E0JDV&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0VFTNVVF4BF83JGSVZQD

thanks!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 11 replies

birth petition

Grandma — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:04:36 GMT

The AMA is trying to force everyone to have hospital births with new legislation. Just to make sure that no moronic congresscritters give them any serious consideration:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/birthathome/

posted in Attachment Parenting - 3 replies

The Daily Groove

Fairy — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 05:21:24 GMT

Here's a link to a parenting site I really love. If you sign up for the free emails, you get 'The Daily Groove' every weekday in your mailbox. It's short and easy to read and always gives you something to think about. I don't always agree with everything he says, but I generally love the way he thinks about parenting: http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/titles

Here's an example of an older Daily Groove:

The Power of an Open Heart
by Scott Noelle, posted on 2006-07-20
Think of something that always opens your heart. It can be anything: an uplifting story or movie, an inspiring song or poem, a glorious sunset, a majestic forest, a beloved friend's embrace, a purring kitten... You get the idea.

Now contemplate it vividly until you actually feel your heart opening. Pay close attention to that expansive feeling in your chest, and try to "memorize" it. (For some, the feeling may be quite subtle at first.)

Repeat this process until you can easily recall the feeling of your heart being wide open.

Next, set the intention that — for one full day — you'll deliberately reach for that open-heart feeling before you do or say anything to your child... every time.

This is not about being "nice." When you want to say "no," say it with your heart wide open and it'll feel like a yes!

Let go of all pre-conceived ideas of what an open heart is. Remember it's the feeling you're reaching for.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Co sleeping survey

aargh — Sat, 31 May 2008 15:13:15 GMT

(cut n' pasted)
---------------------------
Hello breastfeeding supporters and educators,
>
> As you well know, the best food for a new child is breast milk.
> You also know that not everyone believes that fact. The formula
> companies have successfully "separated" today's woman from her
> breast, at least mentally. The leaders of the Le Leche League are
> trying to undue this unfortunate shift of culture, and we thank you
> for it.
>
> As you may also know, many of these same "Big Corp" interests are
> attacking the Family Bed saying it can't be done safely. They, for
> all intensive purposes, have a firm grasp on America's idea about
> the ONLY safe place that a child should sleep, a safety approved
> crib. Co-sleeping or bed-sharing can be an integral part of most
> breastfeeding situations. It makes it easier, which helps extend
> the duration. However, there is a very real movement to officially
> label co-sleeping as NEGLECT. This would be a major step back for
> breastfeeding.
> There are important bed-sharing guidelines that need to be
> followed, and not omitted. Public health departments and the
> general public are being bombarded with news stories calling for the
> end of co-sleeping. They say it's dangerous and can't be done
> safely. You as a professional know different.
>
> Help get the message out to save this beneficial parenting
> choice. Please ask your successful co-sleeping families to help
> prove something that Mr. Big Corp would like to hide...that people
> can and are co-sleeping/bed-sharing safely.
>
>
> www.co-sleepingsurvey.com is a 30 second survey that allows parents
> who have or are currently co-sleeping/bed-sharing to count
> themselves as safe parents. The website has been live for under a
> week and over 1000 people have signed up. Most of them are
> breastfeeding women. This number is desperately needed to prove
> that co-sleeping and bed-sharing can be done safely and the only
> thing that needs to be abolished is the discrimination against this
> valuable practice.
> Thanks,
>
>
>
> Co-SleepingSurvey.com Main St. Strong, ME 04983

posted in Attachment Parenting - 8 replies

Raising Our Children

Fairy — Wed, 07 May 2008 21:24:35 GMT

Just to provoke more of the kinds of discussions that have been going on here lately, which I really enjoy, here is a quote from a parent whose opinion I really respect:

"Its about living with our children Right Now. Our children are not unfinished products, future activists or stooges to The Man, our kids are Who They Are right now...If you are thinking in terms of Raising your chilren you aren't looking at the human beings living in your home, you are looking at future adults - and those are pure imagination on your part."

This woman is an amazing advocate for radical unschooling, and while this isn't a radical unschooling forum, I think that her ideas are worth discussing if we want to talk about things like why we say no and how much of the now we are investing in conditioning our children for a future we can't see. I do this myself a lot but am striving toward a life with my son that is more about who he is now rather than about conditioning him to be someone I want him to be in the future.

Anyway, it got me to thinking and perhaps it will do the same for someone else.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 21 replies

Crib transition

aargh — Sun, 25 May 2008 22:26:36 GMT

Our son will be two in a few days and has been sleeping in bed with us since birth. We've been talking about moving him into his crib for a while now (as in hubby was ready to at two weeks, and i've been a bit more reluctant). Either way, we're in agreement now. He's had the crib to sleep in as a sidecar against our bed (like a co-sleeper) for over a year now, and usually nurses to sleep then rolls into it for most of the night...perpendicular. He loves his feet in my armpit!

We just set up the 4th side today and it's still snug up against our bed. Well, i nursed him to sleep, then couldn't figure any way to move him from our bed to his! We eventually tried to move him, and sure enough he woke up. Now it's almost 2 hrs later, he's still awake while daddy tries to get him down and i'm seeing a lot of problems with this transition.

I guess part of it is that he *always* nurses to sleep with me, so we'll have to MOVE him once he's fallen asleep. When daddy puts him down he gets a bottle. We've been talking to him about this for a while and he understands but that understanding doesn't translate to action at sleepytime.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 6 replies

A mom's poignant story.

Leslee — Mon, 19 May 2008 23:21:52 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQW23XCmOCw

This is especially outrageous, when you consider that, the latest studies show that SSRI drugs work for only a very small percent of people.

http://theeffexoractivist.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2296

This mom is not the only one, by far.

www.ssristories.com/index.php

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

saying "no"

Sat, 03 May 2008 18:25:41 GMT

it's pretty generic & non-specific. over the last several months, i have sunk into the depths of a "no" habit. whether he's about to climb on something dangerous, put something in his mouth, or throw something on the floor, "no" has been my go-to response. but no longer!

i've been challenging myself to be more expressive & specific in my rerouting of his behavior. when he's climbing on something, i am trying to remember to say "i don't want you climbing on there, please get down now". when he's getting into the DVDs for the umpteenth time, i tell him "please leave the dvds alone, they are not toys & i don't want you playing with them". i admit, i've even yelled "no!" in exasperation when he's peeing on the floor after sitting on the potty for 5 minutes with no results.

am i alone in my "no" addiction?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 31 replies

From One Mother To Another

Naomi — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 23:10:22 GMT

Hello,

I recently started a non profit with my sister. We just launched our web site is www.from1mother2another.com. I would love any feedback!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 6 replies

Because you're a "Big Kid"

Thu, 01 May 2008 14:59:40 GMT

This came up in another post, I have strong feelings about using this reasoning with my child to get her to do things. I plan on not but I am not sure why I feel this way. I am wondering how other parents feel about this issue.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 14 replies

praise

tryagain — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:06:51 GMT

i read something somewhere a while back -- i wish i'd saved the article. the gist of it was that praise (nevermind the big kid variety we've been focused on) was often coercive in parenting. while it might make the kid feel good for a second -- indeed, while the kid might become quite dependent on it, it actually took the joy out of certain activities. if before the child just loved to draw, perhaps now she draws hoping to be praised. if before she took joy in her own accomplishments, growing up, learning new skills, now it becomes about some parental pellet of praise. the advice in that piece, as i recall, was to talk to the child about what they were doing -- "wow, interesting, you used a lot of purple today...." and to show your genuine pleasure through involvement while avoiding setting yourself up as the arbiter of "good" and "bad," the dispenser of praise, bequeather or withholder of self esteem, satisfaction, joy in little things and big. by doing so, the article said, you might be able to help your child stay better connected with him or herself, his or her own bliss and perhaps even help him or her avoid a life of chasing after external sources of what naturally lives within us all -- until it's undermined. and sometimes the best way to undermine that solid, clear voice within turns out not be criticism, but rather, perhaps, praise.

of course in this broader societal context, it seems quite natural to be telling our children when they do "good," when they do "bad." but often, the article reminded, what we consider good or bad is what makes our lives easier -- not theirs. (this is a point i am sure is most obvious to most of us here.) at a more subtle level, though, i am thinking of the way babies do naturally look to mom and dad when they roll over, take a step, take a chance. i guess the question is what best to do with that trusting look, the look that puts all the faith in the world in us. how best to serve them in those moments. and how to not do them a disservice in the moments when they are perfectly content looking within.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 4 replies

because i said so

tryagain — Thu, 01 May 2008 16:39:19 GMT

so in another thread that spun off another thread somebody brought up the ickiness of saying "because i said so."

i don't have such a strong, gut-level response to this.

i know explaining is good. and i think it would be wrong to "because i said so" in a situation where you are being unfair -- in a situation where there is gray area.

but then again, if i'm making dinner, holding one baby, trying to field an important phone call about papa's health and kid #1 climbs up on a step stool and starts playing with a burner, i think it might be reasonable to explain that fire is dangerous a few times but if it becomes the "why? why? why?" conversation, i think it might well be fair to say "because i said so," at least until i can make sure i resolve the medical matter of papa's health and have not burnt dinner and have not dropped the baby. (this is a hypothetical, based on some of the details of my life, on observing my cousin, a very skillful mama with three kids, etc.)

aren't there times where for the safety of the child or for the greater good of all it might be fair to say "because i said so" as synonymous with "i care about you a great deal. you are smart. you have your own agenda. i understand that. but sometimes, for now, you will have to rely on my judgement as coming from love and care for you and papa and all of us - and you're just going to have to trust me on this one. if you don't fall off that stool and crack your head open, you're going to set yourself on fire and then we will all be very sad. so my word on this has to be final and while we may choose to talk about this further later, we can not continue delving into this matter at present, sweetheart"?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 4 replies

family bed problem solved....amazing!

evi — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:45:38 GMT

hi all....

we've been co-sleeping with our daughter for 3 1/2 yrs now, and dreading the time when we'd have to make her cry all night to sleep in her own bed. we love having her near us, but my husband and i would both like to get through a night without being kicked black and blue by the little girl between us. between her and the cat, there's hardly any space for me in the bed anymore!

anyway, we've been just dreading the whole process. i came up with an idea i thought would work. delia wants to go to build a bear workshop (babw), but i've always told her it's for big kids. so i decided to make that a goal for us....she will sleep in her own bed for a number of nights, and get a sticker on a chart for each night she does. then, when she's filled up the chart, she gets to go to babw. she picked the number of nights - eleven, her favorite number - and we talked about the plan for the whole month of april. not implementing it, but just talking about it.

then, eight days ago, she got a new toy....a boohbah. it's quite large, and has some hard plastic parts. she wanted to sleep in mommy's bed with this huge thing. i told her that the boohbah can't sleep in mommy's bed, only in deelee's bed. that was it, she went straight to her own bed and slept through the night. and she's done so every night for seven nights straight!!! no crying, no fussing, no nuthin'!!!

i don't know if this would work for every kid, or even any other kid, but i'm so thrilled that it worked for us!! she only has 4 nights left before we get to go to babw!! she's super excited, and so am i!

evi

posted in Attachment Parenting - 11 replies

helping dad get the attachment theory

xylemlarladey — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:47:13 GMT

hey there,
i'm writing actually with a friend's experience,
i work with a lot of parents and it seems common...

she's totally dedicated to attachment parenting, holding the baby, even while she's sleeping etc
and he just doesn't really get it. he doesn't necessarily object to holding the baby to give mom a break,
but he's not totally into it and isn't really sure why mama won't put baby down while she's asleep at least
to do her mama things... and he won't read the books ie continuum concept so...
any ideas? thanks!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 4 replies

to Crib or Not to Crib?

jade moon — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 21:46:04 GMT

Dear Parents,

My cosleeping three month old received a brand new wooden crib and organic mattress with bumper pads, sheets, etc from Grandma.

He takes some daytime naps in his bassinett which whe will soon be too big for, so we want to get a bed set up for him for day time naps and eventual night time/partial night time sleeping.

I am starting to deliberate using a crib at all. We could just put the lovely mattress on the floor.

What are your thoughts, experiences, advice about using a crib? Bumper pads?
We love co sleeping for now, but may opt to try him sleeping in his own bed gradually. I think it is important for him to have his own bed.

Any thoughts greatly appreciated.
Jade Moon

posted in Attachment Parenting - 39 replies

Thanks for this Tribe!

Ziah — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 03:17:41 GMT

I just wanted to say that it is so nice to pop in here every once in a while a read the thoughts of other people who love to snuggle with their wee ones. My daughter is a bit over three now and we have a toddler bed in our room (with a "princess canopy" over it...the bottom of a wedding dress lopped off and hung from the ceiling) but during the winter she still mostly sleeps in our bed. There is nothing better than waking up and snuggling together and talking about what our day has in store... "Momma, what's today?" "Tuesday" "No I mean what are we doing today?" "We get to go to Building Blocks at the library." "BUILDING BLOCKS??? YAY YAY YAY, oh momma I love Building Blocks." etc.... (Building Blocks is the toddler program at our library)

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

Anybody in the east Glendale/Eagle Rock area of Los Angeles?

Audrey — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 08:08:24 GMT

I just moved to the area and looking to connect to other AP moms. I always feel like the odd one who is still breastfeeding and co-sleeping with my 21 month old. I don't care though, I'm proud to say so and I have a wonderful child to show for it :)

Audrey

posted in Attachment Parenting - 3 replies

Is TV bad for babies?

lollicupgirl — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 06:25:28 GMT

I recently discovered hearing that TV is bad for babies? I feel like a bad mommy for not knowing about this one. Me and my fiancee are quite bad about this. We turn on the TV and she sits with us, sometimes sleeping. When I have to get things done around the house, I have Tom watch Annaliese, usually he does this on the couch in front of the TV watching sports! We are so aware and conscious about what we allow here, but I missed this one! TV is bad for babies?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 25 replies

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

mamatoto — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:40:27 GMT

"Renewing my driver's license, I ws self-consious about listing "mother" as my main occupation.
'Do you have a job?' the clerk inquired.
'I'm a... research associate in the field of child development and human relations'
'Might i ask just what you do in your field?'
'I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the lab and in the field. I am working for my masters and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities and i often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than the most run of the mill careers, and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than just money'

As i drove into our driveway, impressed by my glamorous new career, i was greeted by my lab assistants- ages 13,7, and 3. Upstairs i could hear our new experimental model (six months) in the child develpment program, testing out a new vocal pattern. i felt triumphant. I had scored a point on bureaucracy and was now in the official records a someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another mother..."

posted in Attachment Parenting - 5 replies

trouble getting the wee one to sleep?

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 08:02:23 GMT

i've been using this method for almost 2 weeks now & my kid is OUT in less than 20 minutes, on average. i bought a lavender-filled eye pillow for about $5, intending to use it for my yoga practice. one night, after a crazy evening of chasing my boy around & trying to lure him to bed, i broke out the eye pillow (he already enjoyed sniffing it) & layed down in nursing position. as an experiment, i placed the eye pillow lengthwise under my breast so that his face & my breast were cushioned by it. this put it in direct sniffing range for him & he immediately began to calm down. i thought the first night was a fluke, "he was probably just overtired", but i tried it again. and again... and again! every. single. time. he was out like a light before midnight! finally! hallelujah - i have my evenings back!

oh the joys of aromatherapy.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 17 replies

Support a Family Healing Arts Center!

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 22:49:50 GMT

Hello, please vote for my hoopdancing video "Gemini Hoops" and help me to win $10,000 to fund the creation of a healing arts center!

PLEASE VOTE FOR "GEMINI HOOPS" on CLIPSTAR!

http://www.clipstar.com/videopage.jsf?video=9_7002_159

My intention is to win this contest in order to have the funds to create a Family Healing Arts Center in Eugene, OR with craniosacral therapy, chiropractic, midwifery, and classes for fertility, pregnancy, babies, children, and families. I already have the space and practitioners available. I just need the money to remodel the space, buy furniture, signs, insurance, and the start-up costs. Your vote can help make this family healing space into a beautiful community center!

Thank you! Every vote counts! Feel free to pass this along!

Blessings, Kara

P.S. Voting continues until April 30th. You will need to register to vote, however when you register you can choose not to receive any other emails from this company or others, so your privacy is insured. THANK YOU!!!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

Homeschooling setback in CA

songflowermari — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 09:12:14 GMT

This is horrible! Although I am a big advocate of the public school system, I believe that every parent has the right to be able to teach their own children at home. Please read:

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/03/07/MNJDVF0F1.DTL

posted in Attachment Parenting - 9 replies

Night-time sleep issues.. help!

MoonMamaAly — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 03:55:42 GMT

AAAHHH. I'm really going crazy. Does anyone else have this issue...?????

I have no trouble getting Phoenix to sleep but he wakes nearly every 45 min to an hour until I go to bed and then VERY frequently all night long. He'll only get back to sleep by nursing. I'm really dreading evenings/night lately. He'll be 7 months next week and has been doing this for quite a while now. Seems he used to sleep well with only 1-2 wakings.. now I barely get sleep. I feel terrible because I feel so angry and frustrated.

What do I do??

posted in Attachment Parenting - 17 replies

doula in nyc?

tryagain — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 23:30:56 GMT

anybody know a good one?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

The Childs Realm at Discovery Toys

sacredgoddess — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 03:19:51 GMT

www.discoverytoyslink.com/thechildsrealm

let me know if I can help you with any of your toy needs..

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

Unschooling

Fairy — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:03:02 GMT

Because I see unschooling as a natural progression from AP, thought I would post a link to a truly wonderful unschooling website hosted by Dayna Martin, mom of four who just home birthed her last baby about a month ago. She's amazing and has lots of YouTube videos talking about unschooling: http://www.unschoolingamerica.com/videos.asp

I also posted this link on the unschooling tribe, but just in case anyone here is interested. Dayna does free mentoring, too. I belong to the Radical Unschooling discussion list she hosts and find it truly inspirational. She even talked about unschooling on Dr. Phil!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 3 replies

really need something here

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 18:58:07 GMT

so in 16 days there is a symposium i want to go to. it is five hours away, but around my home town so i get to see folks to. it is cheap and exactly the type of info i need right now.
sooo, i don't like leaving my kids. they ( the oldest two ) have only had an overnighter once, the baby has barely been away, maybe three times for a few hours.
so if i leave them with my husband, who really wants to stay, i will (gasp) be five hours away and will have the baby, whom i would worry terribly to leave with my dad while i was gone all day...she hasn't been away from me for that long, and pops isn't baby versed really......
if i bring my kids to visit the fam (met three times before) they will have to stay while i go to the lectures and might feel scared in a new place with barely known fam, ya know?
any one have any tips if i have to bring the baby to the lectures? she has to move...she is trying to walk and is so active
i am now considering not going, but that would suck and it would feel like a missed opportunity
any other advice? my head is spinning
i can tell my husband i really need him, but the thought of him with my family alone with our ravenous swarm....well, i would feel for him.
i don't know what to do.....
are these my only choices? he suffers--not really, really--or i miss out, and suffer
anyone please

posted in Attachment Parenting - 7 replies

an interesting site

Lisa — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 09:09:38 GMT

I hope i am not breaking any spam rules or the like with this posting!

Hi all,

I have come across a great website on my travels and thought i would share it with you.

Qassia is an intelligence sharing website that rewards you for the intelligence ( intel ) you share by directing traffic flow to your website/websites.

They ( the Qassia team) are in the very early stages of building their data banks and NOW is the time to get yourself in there and start sharing all that knowledge that you and you alone have expertise in.

They are searching for all sorts of intel and unlike Wikipaedia and other intelligence sharing websites, YOU are the only one allowed to edit your information.

ALL intel you add to the site earns you points AND provides a direct access link back to the website of your choice.

It is being envisioned that this sight will eventually outgrow the other major intel sites.

As I mentioned, this site is in its early stages and basically, all you can do at this stage is sign up, start entering your intel, start screening other peoples intel for points and start wracking up your points.

The point is that ALL of us are very good at SOMETHING or know a lot about SOMETHING and that is what Qassia is looking for.

It is well worth looking at as a means to generate business and to get your knowledge out there.

I have included a link to my profile page and if you wish, you can sign up from there.

I think it is worth looking into- even in these early stages, it has generated a large amount of traffic through my weblog and the publishing process is simple.

blessed be, Lisa x
http://lisab.qassia.com

posted in Attachment Parenting - 2 replies

Dangerous Behaviors

sarasyn — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 01:53:05 GMT

My four-year-old has finally crossed the line with me. Corde had been pushing my buttons through this whole deployment, but usually she pushes a bit, annoys me, sees that Mommy is a lot less fun of a person when she's annoyed, so she stops. Today was different. Today she did something that's beyond breaking what few rules I have in my house. Normally if I need to take a nap, I put the baby somewhere safe to play, like his playpen or his exersaucer if he doesn't want to sleep. Corde, being the big girl in the house, gets to play quietly or watch television. I don't worry about her too much because she respects what few rules I have when I'm napping. Just be nice enough not to wake me up unless it's important, and stay inside the house. She knows she's not allowed outside unless I'm sitting in the living room where I can hear her in the back yard. It works out really well for us, or did.

Today I woke from my nap to hear someone knocking on my door. They were playing in the playground behind the houses here and Corde came out. When they asked where her mom was, she told them she was taking a nap. They eventually had to go home because it was getting dark and wanted to make sure I knew where she was. I never knew the girl left the house! She knows she's not allowed to leave the house when I'm asleep. As much as it's a safe neighborhood, kidnappings do happen. She could get hurt doing something stupid and I may never know. It's just not safe for her to be outside alone. She's not old enough for that and I could get in a lot of trouble on post as well. I don't think they let you have your kids outside unattended until they're eight, which she is definitely not. We had a talk about this over the summer when she went outside before I'd gotten out of bed. We haven't had any problems since, and I remind her when I do take naps that she isn't allowed to go outside until I wake up.

Well, Corde and I had a little chat about why she went to the playground and why I was so upset. She told me I'm not allowed to be upset because she didn't get hurt. She told me no one would ever hurt her and no one would take her away. She said I wasn't allowed to be mad at her. I wasn't allowed to be scared because there were no monsters out there. She wasn't scared, so I wasn't allowed to be scared. I tried to explain it to her in terms she could understand, like when she gets scared and upset when I leave her in the car to run in and grab something from the house and I take too long, but she said that it's different. She's scared then. I'm not allowed to be scared. She shouldn't be in trouble because she didn't do anything bad. Nothing bad happened. That's teenager logic...

I think that's what upsets me more than anything else, that she doesn't think that the rule is valid. She's suddenly decided the talks everyone's had with her on "stranger danger" doesn't mean anything because she's never been kidnapped or hurt. I don't want her to have to learn by being kidnapped or hurt. I don't know if I could ever live with myself. In this day and age, I don't even know that she'd come out of it alive if it happened. I just don't know how I can get through to her how important this is!

And what gets me even more than that is there's nothing I can do about it! I've tried everything with her. I've even gotten so frustrated and fed up because she wouldn't listen that I tried spanking for a little while, which really didn't work because she thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Obviously I couldn't have been spanking her hard enough to make a difference if she was just laughing about it, but my goal wasn't to hurt her. When that didn't work, I tried going with the whole learning by natural consequences. She's learned well by seeing how her friends don't want to play with her anymore when she's mean. When her actions have consequences, she follows the rules so much better. It's been great. She's learned to stop pushing my buttons because an annoyed Mommy is not a fun Mommy. She's learned that when she respects the rules that are given to her, she gets more privileges, but when she can't respect the rules, they get taken away, and it's always directly related to the action. She stays up all night watching television loudly and keeps everyone up, the television goes off and she has to go to her room. If she's quiet and respectful, I don't mind that she falls asleep in front of the television if she's having a hard time sleeping one night. If she can listen to the instructions and can follow the rules of safety, she can help me cook, otherwise she can't. I don't know how to deal with this. I can't exactly lock her in her room so she can't get out if she wakes up earlier than I do. I can go without taking naps, as miserable as that may make me, but it's not her fault I can't sleep at night. That's my problem. I'm really tempted to lock and chain the back gate on the yard so she can't just run off to the playground when she's outside. If I could lock the back door so she couldn't get out, I'd do that too. She obviously can't be trusted with a back door that she can let herself out and she can't be trusted in the back yard because this isn't the first time she's run off to the park, though when I can hear her do it, it often gets cut off that much sooner. I just don't know what to do. I feel bad chaining the back yard shut. I feel bad about looking for a way to prevent her from opening the back door and letting herself out, but at four years old, she's not old enough to go to the playground alone. It may be close enough that I can watch her from the door to my driveway, but I can't see or hear her from the house, especially if I'm asleep. It's just not safe. And what happens when she decides the playground is not enough fun and decides to wander around the neighborhood with the other kids that are allowed to play there unattended? Some of those kids are right around her age. I don't feel comfortable with my four year old wandering off on her own, especially when she doesn't tell anyone, or worse, lies about it and tries to tell me I did tell her she could go!

I just don't know what to do. It could be up to three weeks until my husband gets home and until then, I've got to do it alone. Corde's sudden decision to act up is really getting me burnt out and this is really the thing that broke it for me. It's one thing for her to throw a fit every time we leave the house because I won't take her to the places she wants to go (usually because the people she wants to see aren't home or aren't in the mood for company, otherwise I'd be happy to). If I leave her in the car for anything more than thirty seconds, even if she knows where I'm going and what I'm doing, I come out to her screaming and wailing that I left her and she hates me now. I've dealt with her taking everything away from the baby to the point where he's crying and inconsolable because he's got nothing left to play with since Corde won't let him play with her toys and keeps taking his because she wants to play with them. I don't know what's gotten into her. It's not like I don't have much time for her. Now that the baby's decided he can go play on his own without hanging on me, I've had a lot more time for Corde. She's been visiting with friends as much as usual. I hadn't been getting any more stressed out until she'd started acting out like this. It's come completely out of the blue. It's like one day she just woke up and decided that she's going to do everything in her power to make everyone else miserable and has been that way ever since. I just don't know what to do. The rest of it I can handle. Yeah, she's annoying me and upsetting the baby, but at least she's not hurting herself or anyone else, but this last stunt was just dangerous, especially since they're looking for a kidnapper in the area. It's not even like I let her go to the playground on her own and the rule was taken away because of the kidnapper. She was never allowed to go. This was always a rule. I don't know...I'm just not sure where to go from here. I'm just at wit's end.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 11 replies

Baby Healing Project Needs Your Votes for Funding!

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 08:46:15 GMT

Your Vote is Needed to Fund a Free Aquatic Baby Bodywork Clinic!

I am a Finalist in the www.IdeaBlob.com Contest to win $10,000 to fund a small business or project. Your support will allow me to create a free monthly clinic for pregnant women, babies, and children to receive Aquatic CranioSacral Therapy in the therapeutic, warm, salt-water pool at the Tamarack Center in Eugene, OR.

Please vote for the WaterBaby CranioSacral Therapy Project!!! Every vote counts!
http://ideablob.com/ideas/1225-WaterBaby-CranioSacral-Therapy-

Thank you!!!!!!

Here's what Mothering Magazine, www.mothering.com, has to say about my project:

Healer's Project Needs Your Votes for Funding

When it comes to bringing aid and comfort to mothers and babies, Kara Maia Spencer, www.maiahealingarts.com, has credentials galore—she is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Certified Birth and Postpartum Doula, CranioSacral Therapist, Holistic Childbirth Educator & Consultant, Homebirth Midwifery Assistant, Reiki Master & Energy Healer, and is Certified in Bodywork for the Childbearing Year.

Dedicated to providing gentle, non-invasive, effective healing—as well as creating community among new parents—Kara intends to facilitate a free monthly CranioSacral Therapy clinic for pregnant women, mothers and babies, at a community therapeutic pool near her home in Eugene, Oregon. She has entered a funding contest with the hopes of winning $10,000 with which to rent the Tamarack Wellness Center's, www.tamarackwellness.com, warm, salt-water, solar powered therapeutic pool (the most eco-pool in Oregon) each month to host the free community clinic.

Please vote here to support Kara's goal—each vote counts, and registration is very quick and free.
http://ideablob.com/ideas/1225-WaterBaby-CranioSacral-Therapy-

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Adoption, . . .

Goofball Jess — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 05:53:42 GMT

Since I haven't managed to find any active tribe related to adoption, I thought I would start here. I'm hoping that some of the parents on this tribe are adoptive parents. I am excited to say that my hubby and I are ready to begin our journey into parenthood. We are at the very beginning of the process. We don't have a lawyer yet and so far, we are of the mind set that public adoption will probably be the route we go because we would like to adopt two siblings. If anybody has anything they would like to share about their experiences with the process I would love to hear it! Any tips or things they would do differently are always welcome. How long did the process take for you? Did you have any specifications? How did you find your lawyer? . . . . Any info would be wonderful!

Cheers!
Jessica

posted in Attachment Parenting - 5 replies

Please Lets all get together and help this lady.

Leslee — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 08:18:49 GMT

Lets all get together and help this lady. I do not know these people but I am outraged.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8209442342428842451&hl=en

Emma France is a 95 year old woman that a minor government official in Jasper County Missouri claims was kidnapped by her 67 year old daughter, Delores Forste.

Delores Forste is now in jail in California awaiting possible extradition to Missouri.

Emma is still in her home in California, where she lives, Delores and her husband also live in California.

This is the first of several videos that will be posted in conjunction with newspaper articles in the Joplin Globe (byline; Susan Redden), and several Independents, as well as several AP newspapers.

This story already has wide circulation and has been front page news in the Joplin Globe.

More videos will be posted as the story unfolds. I have recorded all theses videos myself, with the permission of the people in the videos, with the express intent of posting them on the Internet, I hold the exclusive the copyright to post these videos. I have not and will not be receiving any remuneration for doing this. I am making this and all the videos I post available for public benefit, and in the hope it will help the people involved get this problem straightened out

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Acting Out

b_flat — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 05:33:17 GMT

So, my sister (22) moved in with us this month. She's really good with my daughter who will be two in April, but Cadence seems to have a love hate relationship with her. She has been yelling at, biting, slapping, and pinching my sister. Sometimes she's fine and playing, and then all of a sudden she's a brute. It almost seems like she's treating Melinda like a new sibling. It's kind of funny sometimes, ie, when she's trying to gnaw her way through Melinda's pant leg unprovoked, but... Ug. I'm not sure how to approach this from an attachment view point. Obviously she's bothered about something, maybe jealous. I've just been telling her that I like it when she's NICE, and etc. Any suggestions? A friend of mine has recently begun using time out with her daughter who is a similar age. I'm not sure if she needs more love or more boundaries.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 14 replies

Vote for a free Water Baby CranioSacral Clinic!

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 02:23:23 GMT

Vote for the WaterBaby CranioSacral Clinic Project!

CranioSacral Therapy is wonderful for preventing, easing, and healing breastfeeding challenges such as poor latch, sore neck/shoulders causing breast preference, reflux, colic, and more! Please help support the babies, mamas, and families this project would help!

Go to: http://ideablob.com/ideas/1225-WaterBaby-CranioSacral-Therapy-

Please help me win funding to create a free Water Baby CranioSacral Therapy Clinic for mamas and babies ages 0-3. This vote would support over 100 babies to receive free therapy in the first year of the project alone and provide for expert consultation and program development.

Thank you!!! Be well, Kara

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

baby sitting co-ops?

Sitris — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:43:55 GMT

Hey everyone!

I am toying with the idea of starting a baby-sitting co-op in my circle of friends. I just don't see how else I'm supposed to get enough time to myself, without breaking the bank, or putting my kid in day care.

Off the top of my head I can think of a few issues that would need to be addressed by the involved parties prior to making a go at it, but I'm wondering if anyone has had experience with any sort of organized group where moms/dads trade off parenting.

What do you do for families with more than one kid? How do you judge when to cancel your participation based on illness? How do you keep track of who has done how many hours? What other things come up that I'm not thinking of? Is it hard to keep participation regular enough to make it work?

Thanks in advance, for sharing.

Sitris

posted in Attachment Parenting - 8 replies

haa haa haa haa

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 03:57:36 GMT

sorting through the monstrous piles of laundry to get the load i was throwing in next and i remembered....
i used to own clothes that were HANDWASH ONLY. haa ha ha.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 4 replies

When he just won't stop crying...

sarasyn — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 02:58:35 GMT

Okay, I feel really guilty. I put the baby down and I'm letting him scream. He's not sick. He's not hungry. He's very tired. He's refused to sleep since one this afternoon. Now that it's 8:30 in the evening, he wants to do nothing but scream, scream, scream. I tried nursing him to sleep, no good. He would either not focus on nursing and be half tearing my poor nipple off every two seconds because something caught his attention, or he was clawing my breast with such viciousness that I nearly tossed him because it hurt so bad. I have gouge marks because of him! I tried holding him, but the only place I could hold him was sitting in the middle of the floor because if he gets his hands on anything, he tries to hit it, throw it, tear it to shreds, or destroy it. It means I can't do anything but hold him, which is difficult because poor Corde needs me to make her dinner still, I haven't been able to do grocery shopping because I won't take him when he's this fussy. It's not fair to him or anyone around him. I've tried snuggling him with his pacifier. Even though he's 9 months now, I've tried modified swaddling him to see if that would help. There are times when he's upset that he twists himself in his blanket or my clothes so much that he may as well be swaddled and calms down and drops to sleep, not today. I've tried putting him in his wrap carrier, but the effect was more clawing me to bits. I know he's teething, but he's never acted like this as a result of teething before. He's not sick either. I'm getting frustrated because all I can do is sit perfectly still with him clawing me all over the place in order for him to be content. He'll just sit there and happily scratch me all over. I know he doesn't understand that being a destructive terror only makes people upset, and I know he only does this when he's tired and is fighting sleep, but I don't know what to do in order to help him sleep. Normally if all else fails, we can hop in the car and he usually gets enough of a nap in that I can cuddle or nurse him right back to sleep when I take him out until he's ready to wake up, but for the past two days, even that hasn't worked. I just don't know what's with this trend of refusing to sleep when he's telling me clearly he's tired! I don't know what to do to help him because even with his nails cut as short as I can get them, the repeated scratching on the same spots is really starting to do some damage. His games with nursing are making my nipples rather tender, which is making me hesitant to try nursing him even when I know he's hungry because I know I'm sore. I just don't know what to do. I wish I could just explain to him that he's clearly tired and just needs to go to sleep, and he would, but I know that can't happen. This is now the second day he's gotten significantly less sleep than he usually does, he's completely gone off his schedule (he used to want to nurse, sleep, play at regular times, almost like clock-work), which normally I'd be fine with. I'm not all for babies and schedules anyways, but clearly there's something going on here. I don't want to start leaving him to cry it out, but what options do I have of trying to get him to sleep without dropping my entire life until he figures out what's wrong and stops asking like this? I'm the only parent here and my poor daughter needs some time with Mommy too. The only time she gets Mommy to herself is when the baby's sleeping, and now not only is he not sleeping, but he won't leave me alone long enough that I can get anything done unless he's screaming his head off in the Pack 'N' Play. My house is very quickly becoming a disorganized disaster because I feel guilty just letting him scream when I don't know what's wrong...or more accurately, I know exactly what's wrong, but not how to fix it.

Anyone ever go through this kind of battle before? Anyone have any suggestions for getting him to get some sleep that are better than the "whiskey and a thimble" one I've gotten earlier? I know that if I can get him to sleep the destruct-o-baby problem will go away and he'll stop clawing me, getting distracted every five seconds while nursing, and I will have some time to get stuff done again. Those are all things that he does when he's really tired and usually not long after I figure out he's tired, I have no problems finding some kind of way to get him to sleep, even if I have to resort to a car ride, but I'm at wit's end. I don't know how to help him! Even my daughter's getting angry about the whole thing and keeps yelling at him to stop screaming and go to sleep because she wants me to make dinner, run her bath, and put her to bed.

I'm just glad this single parent thing is almost over. I've come to the conclusion that attachment parenting is significantly more difficult with two children when you're the only present parent and a stay at home mom. When my husband gets home, I need a day off!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 16 replies

doctors in Napa?

serendipitykatz — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 00:58:16 GMT

Hi. I'm looking for a good pediatrician in the Napa region. We have Kaiser but are ready to change health plans if it gets us a good doc. I'm hoping for someone who knows @ "alternative" approaches to parenting; i.e. breastfeeding, cosleeping, vegetarian mama, not getting every immunization but picking and choosing. Any ideas? Thanks.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Very messy house

jerushah — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 17:09:18 GMT

Alright, I have never been what you might call a neat freak. But I am reaching a point in life when the mess of my house feels suffocating. I have a not yet two year old, and am 6 months pregnant. Even though I stay at home, I feel as though I am always ten steps behind on housework. And I am starting to have a bit of the nesting instinct, but get down hearted when I look around and see how much there is to do. We are quite poor, and I need a home makeover that will cost next to nothing (and by that I mean nothing:-) I am starting to feel really shitty about my housekeeping, and need a big boot up my pregnant butt to get me moving. What works for you??

posted in Attachment Parenting - 27 replies

Family bed worries

lollicupgirl — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 20:03:14 GMT

I have been co-sleeping with my month old and have been loving the results. She wakes up once, maybe twice a night to nurse and falls back asleep. When we all wake up in the morning, she is so content and loves to spend her time with us. Here's the deal! I am SO SCARED that I am going to roll over onto her or she is going to suffocate (knock on wood) on rolling over onto some pillows or something will happen under the covers when she's sleeping. I can't see putting her into a crib in another room and we have a co-sleeper that fits in the middle of our bed, but I find she always ends up with us right in bed at the end of the night!

Can anyone shed some light on this?

Scared.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 11 replies

Another no-sleep issue

sarasyn — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 13:22:33 GMT

My baby boy is 8 months now. He usually spends the first half of the night in his playpen after falling asleep in my lap or the car. I let him stay there until he wakes up for his night nursing because I found moving him to the bed would wake him up and he'd want to play, not so good for a tired mommy. Unfortunately, the boy has allergies or something because he's ALWAYS congested and recently it's been worse than usual. Tonight in particular he's been so congested that he can't get back to sleep. He's been fussing and squirming. I've tried him on allergy medication prescribed by his doctor, but it doesn't help. I think he maybe has a cold at this point, so maybe cough and cold stuff would be better, but I don't keep any in the house unless it's going to be used. I know if he could just sleep propped up, he'd be okay, but he just won't sleep. Of course, the only thing I have to prop him up in is his exersaucer or on pillows. He won't stay on the pillows and he just keeps screaming in the exersaucer, which he used to just put his head down and sleep in whenever he was tired with no fuss. Normally I'd just hold him or let him lay in the bed with me until he finally got comfortable and settled down, but I know that can take hours when he feels like this.

Now, I know it's not his fault, but I can't handle this right now. Between my son and my daughter, I haven't gotten enough sleep in a week. It takes a good hour or more to get him to sleep every night. Then when I get him to sleep and put down, I try to spend a little time with my four-year-old daughter to get her into bed, but she keeps asking for just one more story, and then throws a temper tantrum when I cut her off after two or we'll be at it all night. That wakes up the baby and then I've got to spend a whole hour putting him to bed again. I have no help at bedtime, so it's not like I can deal with the baby while someone else takes care of my daughter. Daddy is in Iraq right now, so I'm stuck and alone. With the baby now waking me up after only four hours of sleep, I'm just too tired to deal with it. I can't just suck it up and go get him some cold medicine because that means waking up my daughter and dragging her 20 minutes away to the store, dragging them both through Walmart to find the stuff, then dragging them both home. Then I've got to convince both of them to go back to bed so I can get some sleep. I've tried taking a nap when the baby's taking his nap, but my daughter wakes me up because she wants some attention too. I can't imagine how this would all work if I was working! I'm burnt out now and I'm at home with them all the time!

I feel really guilty right now because I'm tempted to just let him scream until he figures it out. I need sleep to be a good parent. I have real world responsibilities. I've got to go do laundry so he has diapers because I don't have a washer and dryer at home. I've got to do grocery shopping. I have another child to take care of that's been getting no attention because I'm either I'm dealing with getting the baby down to sleep, nursing him, feeding him, changing his diapers, trying to cook, trying to clean, or doing any of the other million things that NEED to get done or I'll get too far behind again. On top of it all, I'm so tired that I'm not efficient at any of it. It's not fair to her because the only time she gets with me is when the baby is sleeping, and that's if I can put him down without him waking up. She gets really jealous if I try to have time with her while holding the sleeping baby. I'm only one person and I'm having a real problem trying to be mommy and daddy and still get enough time for me. I even got a comment yesterday that I "smell like a hippie" because I don't get to shower as often as the rest fo the world would like because I have to find a time when neither of the kids are demanding my attention to do so and I can't take the baby in the shower because he get scared and screams. It would be different if my husband was actually here to help me, but courtesy of the US Army, he's not going to be home for a while yet. I just don't know what else I can do. I NEED my sleep, but he's not figuring it out with me holding him. It seems like no matter what I do, he's going to scream. I'm starting to think there's nothing in the realm of something reasonable that I can do to make him feel better. There's no one I can call to take the kids for a couple of hours so I can get some sleep. Even if there were, I wouldn't feel right giving them a baby that screams like you're trying to kill him every time he's tired and just won't go to sleep for a whole hour at a time, no matter how much I try to cuddle him, rock him, soothe him, or whatever. I don't know what to do, but I need something to happen because I need to get some sleep soon or I'm going to be useless as a mother because I'll be too tired to function. Unfortunately, there's a reason children have two parents...

I'm sorry, this is a bit more of a rant. I'm just frustrated and exhausted. I really don't know what else to do other than wait until morning and get him something for the congestion after my daughter's awake, if I'm alert even alert enough to be driving a car. That won't help the bedtime battle with the two of them, but I can't deal with less sleep than I'm already getting. I just really don't know what I'm doing wrong that he won't sleep and what else to do to get my daughter to bed without a fight short of hiring a maid to take care of my house and a laundry service so that I have enough time to spend with both children. If I could get the baby to sleep without such a long fight, I'd have more time during the day to spend with her. I just don't know what else to do other than let him scream, bury my head under the pillow, and pray that he eventually falls asleep because I'm just so tired and nothing I do seems to be working...

posted in Attachment Parenting - 12 replies

twins or two very close in age?

Elizabeth — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 05:29:45 GMT

Okay, so I've written before. I have two sons. One is six-months-old (I gave birth to him) and one is two-months-old (my partner, a woman, gave birth to him). Yes, it's a lot of work, but that part isn't really what's hard for me. What's hard is that I feel the need to have an intense, one-on-one relationship with each of them for all their waking hours, but of course, since there are two of them, this isn't possible. It's looking like I'm going to be the SAHM, and my partner will soon be going back to work. I feel guilty when I'm holding one and not the other. I can't easily wear them both (though I'm thinking of trying a moby in front and an ergo in back). I sometimes nurse the younger one, but I worry that it upsets my older guy (though he seems fine, mostly). I imagine that people with twins deal with some of these issues, and also that having two babies has certain impacts on attachment parenting, and I'd love to hear from parents of twins or others close in age about this! Thank you.

posted in Attachment Parenting - 5 replies

How to Switch to Crib for Starting the Night

Elizabeth — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 03:36:58 GMT

My partner and I are co-sleeping with our two babies in a queen-sized bed, and mostly, it's actually pretty great. But now that our six-month-old can roll, I don't feel safe leaving him in bed without one of us being there. (And because our other little guy is only seven weeks, we certainly can't leave the two of them in bed without us.) We've put up mesh railings, which help to ensure sleeping safety, but right now, one of us at least is going to bed when the babies do. No adult time together, and not much separately, either. We actually bought a lovely little crib and set it up in our small bedroom, not far from the bed. My baby will play in there happily when I set him down to check it out (for a few minutes while I'm nearby), but even when he's asleep, he'll cry if I put him in it! I just want him there for the time (say 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.) when he's asleep and I'm not. Any ideas? Thanks. Elizabeth

posted in Attachment Parenting - 23 replies

Family Portraits & Holiday Cards

ktlee — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 04:17:55 GMT

hello!

my name is katie lee and i'm a los angeles based photographer.

if you or someone you know is interested in family portraits and/or holiday cards, please keep me in mind.

i absolutely Love photographing families and children. nothing brings me more joy than having the opportunity to capture these precious moments for families.

i have a portable studio that travels all around southern california and austin, texas.

photo sessions begin at just $200.

please visit my website or contact me directly for more information:

www.reflectingtruth.com/holidays

thanks much & seasons greetings!

katie lee

posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Yippee, my site is finally up and ready for business!! :)

Tammy — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 18:44:16 GMT

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Thank you in advance!
Blessings, Tammy xo
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posted in Attachment Parenting - 0 replies

Birth Arts Doula Workshop in Eugene

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:37:29 GMT

BIRTH ARTS INTERNATIONAL DOULA WORKSHOP

http://www.maiahealingarts.com/birth-arts-eugene-oregon/

November 30th, December 1st & 2nd, 2007
at Sacred Waters Birthing Center, Eugene, OR

Join us for a weekend educational immersion into the science and spirit of labor support. Learn how to provide support for women and babies through pregnancy, labor, birth, and immediate postpartum.

The training includes an three days of class, extensive workbook, and on-going mentoring through didactic work to complete the program and receive certification as a Certified Birth Arts Doula.

Birth Arts offers a complete birth doula training integrating evidence-based maternity care research with traditional women’s wisdom and intuition. The workshop includes hands-on experiential practice in bodywork, rebozo, labor support techniques, and non-pharmacological methods of pain relief. We will go into detail about the practice of supporting women at birth at home, birth center, and hospital environments.

Kara Maia Spencer, LMT, CD, CBE
Patricia Couch, Midwife, CD, CBE

Tuition: $350

Schedule:

Friday evening - 6-10pm
Saturday - 9am - 6pm
Sunday - 9am - 6pm

Location:
Sacred Waters Community Birthing Center
Eugene, OR

For registration or inquiries contact:

Kara at 541-520-0681 or email kara@birtharts.com

http://www.maiahealingarts.com/birth-arts-eugene-oregon/
www.birtharts.com

posted in Attachment Parenting - 1 reply

naps (x-post)

Aisha — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 21:07:39 GMT

I know a lot of you guys said your babies napped with/on you for a long time, but I;m wondering how to make the transition to her sleeping on her own. Phoebe can only nap either on or with me; although I love it, I need some time for myself (plus my house is now beyond messy) Is there a trick? Or should I just continue on the sleep by any means neccecary approach and hooe she'll stop on her own?
Thanks!

posted in Attachment Parenting - 4 replies

To Vaccinate or not to Vaccinate?

Saratonin — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 22:50:06 GMT

I feel this is a very important topic. I for one have chosen not to Vaccinate my children, and for good reason, but before I get into why I want to ask peeps on here where you stand and why?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 63 replies

Not Sleeping

b_flat — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 16:27:13 GMT

So in the last month my 18 mo old has begun to take 2-3 hours to go to bed at night, and I'm beginning to really feel resentful since it's the only time I really have with her dad. Is anyone else going through this? I gave her dinner last night, took her on a long walk, gave her a bath, and then gave her milk while rocking her. Two hours later... After three hours the other day I let her cry (never for more than 10 minutes at a time) and she went to sleep very quickly and slept ALL night. We sleep with her, also, by the way. Anyway. I finally let her cry for a few minutes last night and she got so upset she pooped, and then it took another hour and a half to get her to bed, and she woke up constantly. She woke up at 1 and was restless until 4:30. Not crying, just popping her head up every five minutes so no one was sleeping. I can't keep doing this, and i don't know how to compromise with her. This is making me crazy, and peevy. Any ideas?

posted in Attachment Parenting - 4 replies

Your Child Is Worth Money to the State

joliewashere — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 02:30:34 GMT

I'm reposting an article I found on the net here, as an alert.

----

Your Child is Worth Money to the State
July 31, 2001
by Wendy McElroy, mac@ifeminists.com

For Heidi and Neil Howard, giving birth to a terminally ill baby seemed punishment enough. But that was before the Massachusetts Department of Social Services stepped into their lives.

The department came knocking at the door to their home in the form of a "home visitor" sent by the hospital when the Howards' first baby girl was born with terminal health problems.

According to the Massachusetts News, the "home visitor" was a social worker who found the home in disorder. The kitchen was in the process of being remodeled. Over Heidi's objections and without identifying the true purpose of the call, the "home visitor" opened closets and quizzed her about her marriage. Then, she filed a report about the messy home and "stress" in the family – stress undoubtedly caused by having a dying child.

Their situation was complicated by a restraining order that Heidi says she was blackmailed into filing: the DSS allegedly threatened to remove their two boys, 10-year-old Christopher and five-year-old Ethan, if Heidi did not register a complaint against her husband even though she insisted no abuse had occurred. With a restraining order on file, the DSS seized the boys in November 1999.

In February 2001, another daughter, Jessica, was seized from her nursing mother on the grounds that the other children were already in DSS custody. No court hearing has been held on the two boys. Chester Darling, an attorney for the Howards, has called the DSS "an agency ... that can kidnap children almost with impunity."

The Howards' case is not unique. Cases like theirs are occurring more frequently because state agencies now have a financial incentive to separate children from their parents and put them up for adoption.

The Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997 is explicit about the rewards. Under a section called "Adoption Incentive Payment," the act says a state can receive as much as $4,000 for adopting-out a child. There is even a provision offering technical assistance "through grants or contracts ... to assist States and local communities to reach their targets for increased numbers of adoptions and, to the extent that adoption is not possible, alternative permanent placements, for children in foster care."

The money from incentives, grants, and contracts goes directly into the coffers of child protection agencies when they adopt-out children.

Who benefits? "Social workers, diagnosticians, attorneys, foster homes and group homes, to name a few," says Susan Jackson of CPS Watch, a watchdog organization that monitors Child Protective Services. "These folks are fed by a child abuse industry to the tune of well over $12 billion."

Collectively, they form the Child Abuse Industry.

CPS Watch has been carefully monitoring child abuse investigations since 1998, the year after passage of the Adoption and Safe Families Act. Alaska, it found, reported 15,703 child maltreatment referrals from a child population of 192,261 – or one report for every twelve children – that year.

In 1998, according to a federal Department of Health and Human Services report, Kansas removed 1,872 children from their homes. But only 1,104 of the investigations substantiated the charges of abuse. The report states that 272 children were removed from families for reasons "unknown" in Ohio the same year.

In a recent issue of Social Work: Journal of the National Association of Social Workers, Leslie Doty Hollingsworth cautioned her colleagues about the ethical line they may be crossing.

"Because there are strong financial incentives to increase adoptions, practitioners may be compromised ethically if required to work for reunification and adoptive placement simultaneously," writes Hollingsworth, who teaches at the University of Michigan School of Social Work.

Some organizations believe that the threat to families is severe enough to warrant active non-cooperation with government agencies. For example, the Home School Legal Defense Association – which believes home schoolers are being particularly targeted – tells members of their community to contact them immediately for legal assistance if approached by a social worker.

But the warning came too late for the Howards.

The DSS wanted to put baby Jessica up for adoption, but on July 16th, Judge Robert Belmonte of the Framingham Juvenile Court ordered the baby returned to her parents. At last report, the DSS maintains that the two boys should be adopted out but seems willing to let an aunt and uncle become the adoptive parents.

That way, at least, the DSS would still receive its "adoption incentive payment."

http://www.ifeminists.com/introduction/editorials/2001/0731.html

posted in Attachment Parenting - 9 replies